Status: Success


Parable of the Pearacle

A Tearable Pearable

We launched 12 pilots strong including lightly used maggots Ziqqurat and Nova, and with two (2) well-lit Klingons in tow. Bane Thunderwolf's pants were in a state of fashionable disrepair.

Rad Max ejected forcefully from her newly reforged morphship Rapscallion, earning a medal of injury and some artfully torn pink fishnets, and subsequently burned up. Nova accompanied her home.

Due to the almost complete disintegration of his shortsy shielding, Navigator Bane's protocol droid became corrupted by cosmic rays, and we wandered through trackless, feckless, fruitless hinterlands. After long pearigrinations, a cargonical, and light g-well activity, we achieved the plaza of the Great Fruit.

We drummed it like a gong, bathed in its eternal Clappishness, and got snax. Many Earth hu-mans were in evidence and we performed outreach as is our duty to the cosmos. Fart Noises and Leotard circumpiloted the pear, embracing it the better to absorb its juicy radiance. We tore off a piece of Bane's disintegrating shorts and made a rubbing of the pear's integumental texture. The Stations were observed, the Inscriptions read aloud, and we honored the contribution of pilot Bird as one of the mighty forgers. Skunk and Leotard made a sortie to a local Tardis, which we found much like those of our own system but lacking in TP. These primitive planets – bang the rocks together, guys!

Then we launched, and flew casual home by a more conventional route. Curiously, one of the Earthun observers we encountered at the Pear reappeared en route -- possibly due to a time-loop? The oracle has been observed, and we found favor -- or at least the Pear Being didn't send us buckets of radiation this time. Maggot Ziqqurat turned in a fine flight and is fast outgrowing his diapers.

Morals: NOT A QUINCE. Tardises are smellier on the inside. Children love Trinity. If you tear off a piece of Bane Thunderwolf's pants, the piece will form new, smaller pants.
Pilot Ship Points Promotion
BaneThunderwolf Iridium 544.046   Senior Chief Petty Officer
DrClaw Shockwave 375.236  
Fart Noises Spooky Pirate 456.951   Petty Officer First Class
Johnny Five Bieber Fever 980.304   Petty Officer Third Class
Leotard Trinity 458.449   Lieutenant
NOVA Ez Raider 0  
RadMax Rapscallion 304.863  
Skunk Cloudbuster 892.737   Admiral
Snow Mad Rabbit 382.265   Aviator First Class
TUFF N TINY Curb Burner 327.218   Aviator First Class
Wombat Sloth 212.679  
Ziqqurat D.B. Cooper 0  
Pilots must be logged in to see the briefing.
Taskforce Pilot
Mission Leader Skunk
Deck Officer Johnny Five
MRC Officer Johnny Five
Navigator BaneThunderwolf
Tailgunner Snow
Com-Sat 1 Fart Noises
Tool Bag Skunk
Flat Bag Johnny Five
Medi Bag Ziqqurat
Wookiee Bag Fart Noises
Ambassador RadMax
Chalk Bag Skunk
Still Cam BaneThunderwolf
Airlock Johnny Five
Life Support 1 Skunk
Life Support 2 DrClaw
Life Support 3 Leotard
Damage Control Johnny Five
Mission Pinner Johnny Five
Mission Debriefer Wombat
Mission Reporter Leotard
Stellar Cartographer BaneThunderwolf
Compressor Wrangler Snow
Life Support Synthesis Skunk

Mission Parameters

Mission LeaderSkunk
Mission Size 12 pilots
OriginFort Tyler
DestinationThe Alien Pear Oracle
Light Years16.199
G-Well Activity2.561
Technical Rating1.789