Bums Bursting In Air

NoWayRay got his pretty picture taken for the 1998 SCUL calendar while
posing on USB Cetvrion. The caption reads below the photograph
"History was made when USB Cetvrion completed the world's first 100
mile chopper ride, ten circuits thought the city of Boston and
suburbs. The mission tool 15 hours and 36 minutes." NoWay was often
asked by his friends and coworkers, "Did you really do that?" The
answer was no. It was Skunk who rode the century. NoWay decided he
wanted to be able to answer yes.

He decided to follow the traditional route of Operation Uranus Attack.

Independence Day landed on a Sunday. He decided to follow the
tradition route of Operation Uranus Attack. SCUL's usual Saturnight
mission proved a useful start to the long journey. At 10:33PM we
departed. Smiles and cheering gave NoWayRay a positive attitude to
fuel his pedal stroke.

After the first lap SCUL returned to Fort Francis, and Ray continued
onward with only Skunk to keep him company and videotape with the
black box recorder. All excess cargo was left behind, including the
thirty five pound RadioBag. It was traded in for the old tiny portable
tape player, which was much more suitable for only two ships.

The second lap was completed with amazing speed. Each subsequent lap
became increasingly more difficult. By the time the sun was coming up
NoWayRay had only completed 63 light years. It was going to be a hot
day, and NoWay knew it. Skunk had serious thoughts of dropping out and
handing over the duties of filming to Ray himself. Luna IHOP was on
the horizon, and they decided to do one more lap before they grabbed
some breakfast. Skunk decided that one more lap was within his grasp,
and the food would be a good way to wrap things up for him.

NoWayRay started to get a bit loopy from the taxing mission at that
point. He was singing, swerving and pedaling his brains out. There
were times he managed to get away from EZ Raider, no small feat
considering the differences in THO rating. The 20" wheeled USN
Centvrion is no match for the 7 speed nexus 26" USB EZ Raider.

Luna IHOPs food was about as good as one expected, somehow they
managed to whip up their world famous stale hash browns at the fresh
hour of 5:30. Still the fuel was welcomed. By the time Skunk and
NoWayRay left Luna IHOP radiation levels had increased to a downpour.
Hearts sunk even further. The ships were shuttled out into the rain
and their tires thrusters ignited once more.

But the radiation turned out to be exhilarating! The temperature had
cooled significantly, and the weary pilots realized the radiation was
an advantage to the mission. Skunk decided he would press on through
the remainder of the mission, with only 23 light years to go he
realized it was within his grasp after all.

The radiation did stop after an hour or so, and the temperature began
to skyrocket. Abandon All Hope got a flat at light year 90, which
proved infuriating. Luckily we were close to Luna Seven's ample ship
repair facilities, and the oxygen tank was quickly repaired. With only
10 light years to go, NoWayRay decided he would break patrol route and
set course for Harvard Constellation in order to see a civil war
cannon that was scheduled to fire at noon.

The last five light years were underway, and spacewalkers on holiday
clogged space in a thick swarming mass. The pilots nimbly maneuvered
their crafts without running over a single civilian. After looping
around aimlessly just to get some cyclocomputer numbers, NoWay and
Skunk set course for Fort Francis, gambling that the return trip would
place them precisely at the end of their 100 light year mark.

They gambled wrong. Arriving at Fort Francis, the computer was checked
to find that there was 1.1 light years left to go. An attempt to round
out the mission with some ice cream failed when NoWay realized Luna
Celebrity Pizza was closed on holidays. The remainder of the "Golden
Mile" was completed in the parking garage. All the way to the top and
a nice descent to wrap it up.

The mission was completed at 1:33PM, July 4th 1999, smashing the old
15 hour and 36 minutes down to am even 15!

NoWay now answers the chopper century question with a dignified "Yes",
although it would have been a lot easier if he just learned to lie
about it.