Return to the End of the Line

Mission Summary

Spoken Introduction:

These are the times that try pilots’ souls.
In the course of our chopper gang’s history
The pilots of SCUL have rallied bravely
Whenever Lord McFuzz threatens us with a good time.

Today a new century attempt has arisen,
In an endeavor to witness the terminal stations of the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority, better known as the MBTA.
Prior attempts have been thwarted by radiation, but our mission leader is determined.
Pilots, hear me out, this could happen to you!

[Song]
Well let me tell you a story ‘bout a pilot named Fuzz
On a blissfully rain-free day
With a donut in his pocket
He and 5 other suckers
Went to ride on a century!

Chorus:
Well did they ever return?
No, they never returned
But they seem to be unconcerned.
They may fly forever up and down the g-wells
They’re the pilots who never learned!

Dr Claw did his best to make them re-live the horrors
Of the launch of Century 21B,
Wombat cracked a beer, and Cosima navigated
Through very familiar scenery

[Chorus]

The first 30 light years were slapdash and sweaty
As the pilots set a blistering pace,
Up rolling g-wells and lamenting lack of fuel dumps
It was looking like a real rat race

[Chorus]

A scenic gravel wormhole ‘round the Ponkapoag nebula
Was enough to make Dr. Claw say “no”
The choppers took a spacewalk and the HARVS bounced off moon rocks
‘Til the whole fleet was ready to go

[Chorus]

The next few stations flashed by in an instant
From Braintree to Mattapan
They stopped at the location of last year’s soggy donuts
And DC dumped fuel once again

[Chorus]

The daystar was still shining as they rumbled towards the station
Forest Hills, in Jamaica Plain
Pilots ate their dinner while DC sought relief
In a tardis with a bukkit on a chain!

[Banjo Solo]

Next stops were on the Green line, with several points of interest
That the fleet missed out on last year
Threespeed intercepted as we passed through Alewife
And brought us some needed cheer.

For Dr Claw was suffering in the last throes of agony
From his simmering intestinal woe
Threespeed passed on intel ‘bout a nearby tardis
So DC could have a place to go

[Chorus]

Unnecessary g-wells led to heavy transport traffic
As they forged ahead to Wonderland
Looping back to Eastie o’er the death-grid drawbridge
Enough terror for the pilots to stand

Charging through Everett through an old familiar war-zone
But the dangers barely got in their way
They headed for a victory lap through downtown Boston
And the final stations of the day

Well did they ever return?
No, they never returned
But they seem to be unconcerned.
They may fly forever up and down the g-wells
They’re the pilots who never learned!
They’re the pilots who never learned!

* Medals of Century to all pilots who completed 100+ l.y.
* Medals of Strength to Moonbeam and Cosima for completing the mission on single-speed ships

Launch: 8:58 a.m.
Splashdown: 11:30 p.m.
Total flight time: 14 hours, 32 minutes