SCULimpics 2001 Games

Mission Summary

SCUL deported itself well at both the day and night games. Feats of physical prowess abounded. Day Games were held at an abandoned planet in the Allston System and night Games were at Assembly Square.

The day games included the Skid contest, KickingKlaus, Donut race, Caddyyack, ghost ride and the frame toss.

SKID
Lay a patch of rubber!

Gold - MonkeyBoy: 54' 2"
Silver - TwistedMike: 54' 0"
Bronze - MoneyShot: 46' 2"

TwistedMike blew out a tire, we were all impressed! Kudos to NoWay for returning to fort for a new tire for USB Pestilence.

SCULimpics Record: 92' 1" set by Skunk in 2000. The conditions were particularly sandy that day, allowing for super long skids!

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GHOSTRIDE
Jump off the bike and see how far it goes on its own.

Gold - ViciousSquirrel: 115' 9"
Silver - Lashotka: 79' 3"
Bronze - Sarge: 76' 6"

Them huffies roll gud.

SCULimpics Record: 115' 9" set by ViciousSquirrel in 2001. VS used mind control to keep the bike going farthest.

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FRAMETOSS
How far can you huck that frame, sucka?

Gold - Flasher: 40' 0"
Silver - WalTor: 31' 8"
Bronze - Zeus: 27' 5"

SCULimpics Record: 40' 9" set by Flasher in 2001.

Flasher ripped his shirt off after smashing the SCULimpics record! Tthe judges of the competition ran to the sides in fear of the mighty ship thrust with a tremendous force.

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DONUT
Do a lap and choke down a donut.

Gold - PigPen: 25.29 seconds
Silver - NoWAy: 29.84 seconds
Bronze - LoJack: 33.61 seconds

SCULimpics Record: 40' 9" set by PigPen in 2001. This was very scary to watch. She was shaking the whole time.

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CADDYYACK
A frame with off center hubs, the bike bobs up and down through the slalom course.

Gold - NoWay: 30.86 seconds
Silver - LoJack: 32.49 seconds
Bronze - MoneyShot: 33.24 seconds

SCULimpics Record: 40' 9" set by NoWay in 2001. NoWay was making up for the fact he got bumped in Donut, so he had some extra steam.

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KICKINCLAUS
See how far you can kick the giant plastic Santa.

Gold - Zeus: 44' 0"
Silver - Lashotka: 32' 2"
Bronze - Grendel: 31' 11"

SCULimpics Record: 44' 0" set by Zeus in 2001. Unfortunately our distances for Claus competition were not recorded, so this may or may not be the farthest kick, but it is the official record. Sadly, dear Santa took such a beating he was unable to return to fort with the fleet. His carcass was buried in a nearby dumpster.

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Night Games consisted of the wheelie competition, dogfight derby, doubles and a new event: the limbo competition. The night crew was joined at Assembly Square by GutRod's parents who cheered the fleet on in their endeavors.

WHEELIE
How long can you keep the front wheel off the ground?

Gold - NoWay: 3.53 seconds
Silver - CaminoAcid: 1.72 seconds
Bronze - Skunk: 1.62 seconds

SCULimpics Record: Some ridiculously long time, like over 30 seconds, set by Crusty in the 1999 SCULimpics. It's on tape, we should get a stopwatch and time it there.

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DOUBLES
Carry someone (called a monkey) on you bike though a technical course.

Gold - NoWay & ViciousSquirrel: 18.66 seconds
Silver - Skunk & Vomit: 18.93 seconds
Bronze - Zeus & Sarge: 30.50 seconds

The gold and silver competitors actually tied in the first heat at 21.63 seconds, and had to do a rematch! Exciting!

SCULimpics Record: NoWay & ViciousSquirrel: 18.66 seconds. They were using
chopper riding enhancing drugs (Schlitz Beer)

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LIMBO
How low can you go? Ride under the limbo bar without touching the ground.

Gold - MadDog: 35"
Silver - Zeus: 33"
Bronze - CaminoAcid: 32"

This was the highlight of SCULimpics 2001! This was a first time event,
expect to see it in years to come.

SCULimpics Record: CaminoAcid: 32". How can a bronze medal be a record?
Tiebreakers! Held in the Admiral's quarters, of course!

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DOGFIGHT DERBY
Snatch a ribbon. Protect yourself. And whatever you do, don't touch the ground!

Gold - Zeus
Silver - Moose
Bronze - Sarge

SCULimpics Record: There is no record holding in derby. It's crazy!