Status: Failure
Warm Fuzzies
Ten pilots and one babymaggot braved the elements on an unusually frigid Saturnight. The mission objectives were simple: stay comfortable, consume hot beverage molecules, and don’t succumb to the shivers. By way of provisions, several pilots had packed heat-retaining receptacles, and the Fleet Admiral had brought along his portable culinary combustion unit. Navigator Dr. Claw wore a protective face-mask which disguised his humanoid features; Wombat defied the cold and showed up in his customary shorts. Morale was high, and Rocket heralded our launch with his excellent bugling from atop Bieber Fever, which brought much admiration from passersby as we embarked. The fleet buzzed familiar constellations Harvard, Porter, and Davis before wending our way into the further reaches of the Cambridge system via the nearby wormhole.
As darkness closed in on the winding paths, pilots at the rear struggled to navigate strange platform structures, but the fleet quickly regrouped and took its first shore leave. Hot beverages were passed around and Snow acted as wind shield so that Skunk could ignite his combustion device and distribute hot cider molecules. During shore leave it was discovered that Epoxy’s trousers had suffered a serious hull breach in the posterior region, likely a result of a rough encounter with Yer Mom. Luckily he had been wearing thermal protective armor so the fleet was spared a super-mooning. Dead Bride made use of FlatBag’s mending kit to conduct emergency field repairs.
The fleet continued on the wormhole but was forced to do an about-face due to an unexpected roadblock, and instead changed course to the oft-traversed minuteman wormhole. This route took us into the center of the Arlington system, where we tooled around on the empty back streets before heading to Luna 7-11 to restock provisions and obtain more hot beverages. Dogi tested many fuel dispensers before finding one with sufficient heat molecules. The pilots endeavoured to remain inside the airlocks for as long as possible in order to retain warmth for the journey ahead.
After relaunching, the fleet made its way through Harvard constellation where Centvrion suffered a propulsion transfer conduit failure, which was quickly remedied by Skunk and Red Squirrel. During this brief halt, a hostile life-form made an attempt to abscond with USB Catastrophe, but was hastily prevented. Not long afterward, Truxy suffered a similar mechanical, but Sewer had his sturdy ship in flight again with hardly a moment’s pause. When the fleet touched down at the landing pad, Epoxy admitted to having suffered the dreaded chill tremors, and the mission was declared a failure. However, other pilots had been observed attempting to mask similar symptoms, so perhaps it was not an altogether isolated affliction. In any case, the battalion returned to regroup in the warmth of the fort and congratulate each other on surviving the harsh elements and living to fly another Saturnight...