Starchaser Alphamission '14

...bzzt...There is nothing wrong with your transceiver. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission... We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your transceiver. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery of the Star Chasers United League!...bzzt...



SCUL's 4th Fleet, The Starchasers! The delicious taste you all know and love is NOW on an all-new launch scheduled and PACKED with fiber! See what kids are saying about it, "We be making juice and be like wtf, let's go outside!", "I didn't even put my shoes on!", and even "Oh no... I left the water running." That's right, kids! Like moths to the flame, no one can withstand the amazing power of our funky, fly, Faster-Than-Lightspeed starships as we gently groove our way through your star system!

Fort Jonathan was buzzing with MRC goodness, as our team of pilots, cadets and recruits all worked in unison to prepare for the first official mission of 2014. The long, icy winter of the Secret Sector was almost too much to bear and despite our efforts to best the cold, the fort saw very little activity. However, thanks to a visit from Metro Alpha's extraordinary Dr. Claw, the mission would finally be equipped with a fully functional sonic disruptor array. There so much work to do before Mission Control made the announcement that it was 2000 hours, "All hands to launch pad!"

At the launch pad, 4th Fleet Admiral Civitron had planned on saying something very witty and inspirational to kick of the season but his excitement got the best of him and all he could muster was an incoherent string of Tronian babble. Perhaps the pomp and circumstance will have to wait for the next mission. Soon, after we were greeted by a rogue pilot calling himself [REDACTED] manning an unnamed HARV, recruits were welcomed, pilots were counted, sonic disruptors on full, and our mighty squadron -Beatleman, Honalee, Ashera, Baggadonuts, and Xan - was prepared for blast off!

We made a quick loop around the Buttonwood constellation. The captive alien life forms, inhabiting their encapsulated artificial containment biomes were just settling into their caverns and stasis pods but Starchasers were just getting started. As we approached our second lightyear, we found ourselves trapped in the gravitational pull of a blackhole. Once we escaped, the mission leader was notified that new recruit, Xan could go no further and burn-up was emminent. It was actually perfect timing since Artemis' rear thruster was out of phase and would require a time-exhaustive field repair. Luckily, we were close enough to Fort Jonathan to escort Xan back to base and swap out thrusters. During our brief reprieve, Ashera, Honalee and Beatleman took an opportunity to break out the hula hoops and bubbles!

Once again underway, we entered a heading for the shining lights of the Eastern Quadrant. We passes a few civilian clusters and acheived our first high five of the season! After a few sweeps of the local airspace, we ventured toward the Southern Quadrant and an extended shore leave at Luna 7/11, after Lucifer ruptured a plasma casing. Plasma was EVERYWHERE! The leak must have spread farther than we thought, as it attracted civilians from all around the quadrant. Droves of weary space travellers flocked to our location, eager for a chance to take scans of our starships. Some crooked their hands into odd shapes and spoke strange languages. Others were simply content gawking. A loveable trio of half-clothed lifeforms played hopscotch with us while we awaited the repairs. They even scrawled out a massive tribute to SCUL on the pavement for future generations to enjoy... or just people who might pass by in the next few hours. It is just chalk, after all. Once repairs were complete, our adventure could continue.

Soon, we found ourselves in a wide expanse of space. The perfect opportunity to derby! Three rounds later, not a single Starchaser was left standing. Though many of us achieved ribbon grab, it was the rogue who was the victor. Looks like we'll need some training. Everyone had fun, even after Civitron slipped on a banana peel, attempting a test flight on the HARV. Ashera was able to utilize advanced time-traveling technology to shift back and capture the event for our visual logs. No one was injured in the collision.

On our way back to the launch pad, we discovered a field of cups just begging to feel the warm embrace of our forward thrusters, just as we were itching for that sweet popping victory of a crushed cup. Don't hurt the cups, you say? They're such dear little darlings, you say? You'll change your tune after you deal with a horde of such devious creatures face to face! You too will crave the unmitigated glory of their innards exploding into the air, spraying your hull as the mist catches the air... *achem* It's just good fun.

Later, a passing transport fired upon us with a message we would never repeat to our mothers and the fleet erupted into a proud chorus, "USA! USA! USA!" And we knew then and there, it was going to be a good year.