Fools' Folly Flights: Alphamission '23

Mission Summary

Warm weather, clear skies, a twinkling of Starchasers - why, it's an April Fool's Day miracle! SCUL pilots from far and wide heeded the call of the alphamission subspace transmission and descended upon Fort Antwerp in a giddy hubbub. Ships were dusted off, plasma casings topped up, and maggots scurried around taking care of fleet tasks as preparations were made for the inaugural mission of 2023. Division Admiral Civitron showed up with a mighty battalion of Starchasers, joining forces with Metro Alpha Division to form a super-squadron ready to bust the funk all over again in a new season. Gritty even flew in from the Chicago System for the occasion.

One by one, pilots fell ranks in a semi-circle for the opening remarks. Meownderthal debuted a flashy new ship, Krypteau Abyssmaul, which was christened with gusto. The rest of us oohed and ahhed and tried to remember nav-tail protocol. Our considerable ranks were bookended by able Navigator LordMcFuzz and stalwart Tailgunner Bane Thunderwolf, who shepherded the large mass of blinky ships out into the night.

Syntax Error had returned from the off-season greatly improved with a brand new low frequency life support enhancematron, which boosted the bass and made Dr. Claw's golden ears much happier. We conducted a few tentative zigs and zags in the Allston system before gathering our mighty fleet to cross the hyperspace byway towards Harvard Constellation. Almost immediately we ran into difficulty, with the fleet being split by starpath signalization protocols on multiple occasions and hindered by some quasi-chanicals. We shuffled around and regrouped. Lord McFuzz took us into some squiggly wormhole-adjacent areas behind a notable institute of higher learning, where we halted again to work out a few additional kinks. Pilots took this as an opportunity to eat snax and check their protocol droids for the latest radar updates.

Soon we were off again and we crossed into the familiar Somer Vil territory. Our first scheduled stop of the mission was at Fort Tyler, where we buzzed a brightly lit courtyard to rapturous civilian applause. We alighted to pay homage to robot Dyanna and collect a few additional pilots who joined us for part of the mission. Our next fly-by was Luna Market Basket; pilots zipped through the transport docking yard in search of crunchy cups to flatten - a smorgasbord. Somewhere in the excitement of this stretch of the mission, Starchaser Enola suffered a rare pantsical. Eventually we stopped for Snax. Next, LordMcFuzz set his navigational sights on the Kendall Constellation. The fleet gradually sped up until we realized we were being sucked into the gravitational pull of the Steaming Globe. Gleefully, we orbited again and again, zipping around in a blur of colorful lasers. At this point Cosima intercepted us accompanied by Brosima, who was capably riding Yer Mom.

Civitron gathered everyone around for a knighting ceremony, aided by a little coaching from Skunk and some backup notes on his protocol droid. A rousing three cheers for Bowser, Pilot of SCUL! Everyone mobbed the new pilot, as is tradition, and we spent the rest of the shore leave trying out each other's ships and generally getting our ya-yas out. The final leg of the mission was an easy cruise back to base. We debriefed on the landing pad, patting ourselves on the backs for earning a "satisfactory" rating with a few "needs improvement" here and there. We also hazed a few Starchaser babymaggots and in the excitement, LordMcFuzz almost got hazed again himself. Once back in the fort, Gritty suffered the second pantsical of the evening. Great job everyone!