Status: Failure
(r)Ode to the Barnacle
Mission Objectives
- Deploy one hundred barnacles
- Give away stickers to twenty five people
- Chalk up our turf in three distinct places
- Get some hot snax
Mission Summary
PILOTS! SPACE IS VERY MAGNETIC.
SECURE CARGO BEFORE FLIGHT.
Eleven pilots set out, enthused and unfazed by the forecast, carrying a special payload:
ONE. HUNDRED. BARNACLES.
Lord “Meriwether Lewis” Mcfuzz navigated the fleet to less-common terrain, and the Fleet Admiral’s playlist was as smooth as the terrain was…not.
The deep space vibes took over.
The fleet made its way to some outposts with a known abundance of ferromagnetism: the structures at Ringer, Billy Ward, and Mother’s Rest playgrounds.
Pilots rested, climbed, and found novel spots to stash barnacles.
*
DID YOU KNOW?
Skunk once caught a mouse that turned into four mice with supernatural jumping abilities, which then turned into zero mice.
*
Wobbly space legs and new terrain meant a higher rate of pilot-spacedust contamination on this run.
Slambassador Grog was darting in and out of atmo on Pale Horse, defying reason and prudence to ensure EVERY EARTHLING got a sticker. Then he careened toward a large granite bench for no visible reason.
Gritty found the absolute grittiest spot on a steep slope to take a quick dirt nap, with maximum abrasive style.
Meownderthal’s eject button was out of calibration! (Maybe its weight calculations were thrown off by Krypteau Abyssmal’s carbon cranks.) He performed admirably, though, and despite some leakage from the hemo piping, finished the mission – with a Medal of Injury for his treowbles.
Snow spread the love! He checked in on all the crash landings, and then by offering his EFT (Emergency Flat Technician) services to aid Bane Thunderwolf in revulcanizing a plasma casing when Bieber Fever suffered a failure on a college quad.
*
DID YOU KNOW?
When the sound of chalk drawing reverberates through certain types of playground structures, it kinda sounds like a hacksaw.
*
We spread the love, but we did not spread cheese on nachos. Space was lean!
The mission in four words:
Barnacles. Stickers. Hot snax.
In three words:
Spread the love.
In two words:
No snax?!
(Mission failure.)
In one word:
MAGNETS.
In no words:
*that feeling as we flew fast along Riverway and realized all the barnacles were distributed and the first bars of Stayin’ Alive started to play*