SCULimpics Night Games

Four, (count 'em.. FOUR) maggots (two of the BabyMaggot persuasion)
joined us on our multiple-objective mission this Saturnight. We had
patrolling to do. We had a distress call to answer. We had cups to
crush, hi-fives to disseminate, and funk to bust. And on top of all
that, we had a SCULimpics to hastily throw together at the last
minute. What would be the outcome? Would we survive... would we
complete our tasks? Or succumb to humiliating failure?

Y.T. took up the challenge to navigate the fleet, and away we went on
a fun and meandering path through our home systems. Major
constellations patrolled? Check. Cups and hi-fives? Check. And then
our trusty navigator, sensing the fleet's high morale, challenged us
even further by attempting an unheard of quadruple-tunnel pass. (Okay,
it was actually two separate double-passes, but still friggin
awesome.) Sonic disruptors deployed? Check. Woots and woohoos shouted?
Check.

After a bit more patrolling, we arrived at the distress call and
immediately took to the task at hand, ridding the premesis of
molecules in order to facilitate the space station's evacuation. Quick
work was done to complete this mission objective, and the space
station inhabitants were gracious and welcoming.

So far we were right on schedule. A brief landing at Luna 7-11 gave
the funk-busting opportunity. And did we answer? Was the Funk busted?
Oh yeah. And the food joined in, because no one can resist the tractor
beam of the mighty Disco DeathStar. Especially when It's Raining Men.

The fleet was on a roll now. Mission objectives ticked off one by
one.. but the final objective loomed. As time was running out, would
we be able to pull it off? Would SCULimpics actually happen, or was
Pecan just schlepping Santa around as nothing more than a gigantic
lit-up figurehead?

After a quick fly-by of Snarly and Slug's fort, with a
surprise appearance of the Snarlac himself (hooray, Snarly and Slug,
we miss you!) and then a FruitBat sighting from a passing transport,
we turned toward the outer reaches of the Cambridge system to find our
secret SCULimpics location. But have no fear, this determined fleet of
sculpilots did not know the word failure this Saturnight. SCULimpics
was had, and SCULimpics was Good. And the surprises continued as we
randomly encountered Deathtrap and Axeman on their nearby patrols, and
they proved victorious in their SCULimpics exploits.

Upon viewing the awesomeness of hastily-thrown-together-SCULimpics,
even the STs could not dream of putting it to a stop. (Though he did
just ask us to turn it down, a little..)

Mission successful! All objectives completed! No one burned up on
reentry! The fleet returned late to Fort Joy, tired but satisfied, and
morale high.

Thanks to Pecan, Joyride, Bucky, and maggot Stogie who led the
SCULimpics events. Official results as follows:

Kickin' Claus - run by Pecan

Gold - Wombat

Silver - Axeman

Bronze - Hackworth

Shoot the Moon - run by Joyride

Gold - Threespeed

Silver - Bucky

Bronze - Hackworth

Slow Ride - run by Stogie

Gold: Joyride

Silver: Axeman

Bronze: Deathtrap

Cup Crush Melee - run by Buckminister

Gold - MegaSeth

Silver - Wombat

Bronze - Medico