Cranktabulous Alphamission!

Twenty-six pilots showed up for tonight's mission. We had everyone
from
seasoned vets of 16 years to maggots to guests. Even EvilTwin
appeared from the New York Galaxy. Three ships were
christened: SMM HelloKilly with matching pilot spacesuit, FTL Artemis
which
was prepared to defend the universe, and ARP Roll Bounce, the full
suspension eccentric wheel bicycle designed to suck fuel and save you
from chopper crotch.

The mission objective
was a standard op to patrol the local constellations as we got our
sea legs back. Early on, a couple pilots took tumbles as they had to
readjust to the gravity and solar winds of the local planets, but
they
quickly recovered.

We headed through the Porter, Davis, Harvard and
Central constellations. On the way we noticed that Stogie was taking
many spacewalks. When we stopped for refueling, we saw the issue.
The pin to his chain ring had sheared off causing him to lose
contact
with his two stroke engine and resulting in failed ignition. While
we
consumed unsavory snacks, he attempted to make a little chain loop to
try to reconnect to his two stroke engine. We left Luna 7/11 but
shortly thereafter the call went up the line. "Mechanical!" The
repair had failed, so several pilots got to work on another solution.
This one involved completely disassembling the bottom bracket and
installing a chain loop as a spacer to bypass the stripped crank
threads. While pilots worked on the field repair, others passed the
time with lots of grooving, pushups and yoga. Waltor and Diva burned
up on re-entry in a super-lame-o-bailout maneuver.

With spirits high, and MRG Vindaloo back together, the fleet set off
once more. Alas, our creative repair lasted a whole 5 seconds, and
then Stogie was dead in the water again. Refusing to allow him to
bail on the mission, we came up with a better idea... to tow him
behind USB ChromePony.

That settled, we headed off to a derby lot, where many many fun derby
antics ensued. At this point, Stogie attempted another repair for
Vindaloo using his belt which allowed him to derby once before it
broke again. Dreadflint and SelfDestruct took each other out in a
spectacular hugging crash. Derby winners included Nosepicker, Kpafun,
Moose, Wombat, and possibly others I am forgetting.

Once we had had our derby fill, and MSG SecretAsianSCULly got a flat
repaired, we headed back to base without further incident. At the
landing pad, baby maggots Piranha and Waldo (found him!) were
properly hazed per tradition, followed by celebratory smooch and hug
(respectively, to each respective hosts) as they ascend to maggot-
hood.

Despite the mechanicals, this was a super fun mission!