Status: Success


Performance Fart

This mission objective formed due to a HARV bogey sighting by Crack. Upon further investigation the pilot identified himself as Blink, a rogue pilot aboard the HARV TAN Pedalstilt. Friendly first contact was established. He invited us to an event he organizes at MIT, called MITers. This event involves performance art, pot luck and show & tell. SCUL decided to investigate further.

Interstellar subspace transmissions were sent to all potentially interested parties. This in fact turned out to be successful in recruiting two new pilots, MRI and Stinky. MRI was one of the Early Hell's Bells members, and took to the most difficult ships with ease, including the USB SkyKing Launch for a BADDVIPS Medal of Valor. Stinky brought his own Short Range Fighter, NTY Curb Burner, with a loud class A sonic disruptor and cool speedometer. This pilot could hop curbs like no other before seen.

This was a very exiting and action packed mission. We set course for the MIT Museum, but stopped over at a strange alien space station that Nate knew of, where me met an interesting civilian now known as the Shaman. He burst out of the airlock with two holy pumps, waving them like holy sticks, blessing all the ships. One bike in particular needed extra blessing, USB Sloth. The tire was seriously losing structural integrity. Holy Duct Tape and Prayer was applied. After a few test Rides by the Shaman, we were on our way.

We arrived at the MITers party without too much trouble. We began to lock up, but people started to filter out, and they were very curious of the ships. We allowed all who dared a test flight. We employed the P.R.A.N.K. maneuver on several heavy objects, including pillars, the dumpster, a door, and some tomato cans. Eventually we secured the fleet and entered the Miters Base.

There were many sights to be seen. The first object we noticed was the Hose Clamped Tallbike (it had no ship markings that we could find). It belongs to a truly mighty and brave pilot indeed. Next we saw a giant robotic arm, amazing for beer retrieval. Other objects included a shopping cart armchair and a machine that spun itself around with a propeller until it cut off its own power supply by twisting apart the flimsy electrical cord it was suspended by. After communicating with the civilians for a while, we departed in the usual obnoxiously loud manner. Our next stop was the Luna Middle East, where we discovered a new way to secure the fleet, by just locking all the ships together in one big pile. This will now be referred to as a P.O.M., or a pile of metal. Here pilots refueled, and we talked to more potential recruits.

From Luna Middle East we set a course for a party in the Allston System. There were a few moments of moderately heavy g-well activity, which weakened some of the ships. Just after the second g-well, a loud "CRACK" was heard. The now strung out echelon regrouped to find that the Holy Duct Tape could no longer hold back the pressure inside the tire the sidewall was completely destroyed. We crash landed the craft on the nearest large asteroid and began to formulate repair strategies.
We cut off the spent Duct tape. We found a large orange construction cone, and cut out a piece to lay inside the tire. The tube was patched. We wound up using the Duct Tape as the tire reinforcer for the tire. We were on out way again.
By the time we reached the Allston Destination there was little activity. The inhabitants of the station were missing and are presumed destroyed. We set course fort Cambridge. On the way we had a little derby fun at the Luna Osco Space Raceway. We continued on after STs took an interest in our activities.

At Fort Cambridge we relaxed and consumed Earth Beers. We exchanged tales of battles which sparked the imagination. After an hour or so we decided to be on our way. As we departed we discovered USB Sloth's Rear tire had completely lost all ability to contain the inner thruster casing. Fortunately the USB Funstyle was stationed at Fort Cambridge, and was available for charter. We continued back to base without incident.
Pilot Ship Points Promotion
Crack Pestilence 90.1381  
MRI War 0   Pilot
Pit Girl Sloth 60.0954   Petty Officer Second Class
Skunk Abandon All Hope 508.61   Admiral, Fleet Ready
Stinky Curb Burner 0   Pilot
Pilots must be logged in to see the briefing.
Taskforce Pilot
Mission Leader Skunk
Mission Reporter Skunk

Mission Parameters

Mission LeaderSkunk
Mission Size 5 pilots
OriginFort Francis
DestinationMITers First Contact
Light Years10.310
G-Well Activity1.417
Technical Rating4.625