Status: Posi


One of the more favorable ships in the fleet and is obviously known best for a long protrusion out of the bow that leaves its recipient with the word "RAW" on their B-hind.

War was once an abandoned cruiser, left behind by a very strong pilot who claimed it was too heavy to ride. Skunk picked it up via transport and took it home. It didn't seem that it could possibly be heavy enough to make someone abandon it, so Skunk rode it into work the next day. After about four light years he had to get off and spacewalk. This ship was CURSED.

When Skunk go to Merlin he decided it was so heavy that the only thing it could be good for is a battering ram. So he welded on an extension with a plate adorned with weld beads that spell "WAR". Remember, WAR is RAW backwards.

Years later we realized the spokes were so loose that it was completely sucking the rotational energy out of the thrusters. We tightened them up and suddenly the curse was lifted, and USB War was spry and frisky. Huzzah!

There's a strange illusion that happens when you turn this ship: the pilot expects the ram to move with the helm and the navigational thruster, but lags behind in a swooping motion, almost like a boxer's hook. If you pilot this ship be careful not to get hypnotized and slam into something you didn't intent to - this is the voice of experience talking!

For obvious reasons, this ship should be used very carefully in a dogfight derby.

War! Uh! Good gawd, yawl! What is it good for?!

Absolutely NUTHIN!

Sayit eggin!


Light Years2149.888
Thrust Rating2.99
Handling Rating6.36
Difficulty Rating4.11
Max Warp1

Construction Data

Hull MaterialSteel
Hull Type
Chief EngineerSkunk
Christened on1997.01.28
LocationFort Tyler
Navi Retro
Primary RetroCoaster


2024.05.25   Night Tour Tango
2024.04.27   Lesser Known Tango
2024.04.20   Oh Dam, A Dam Tango
2023.10.14   The Pumpkin Spice Must Flow Grog
2023.09.03   Dead by Dawn Static
2022.10.29   Hallowheels 2022 PalmTree
2021.10.23   Great Migration Cinnamon Brulee
2021.09.04   Taco Party! NOVA
2021.07.10   Two-tee Fiver Tyrian
2021.05.22   Through The Ringer Wombat
2021.04.17   Gamma Is For Chill perilous
2019.10.05   Skunk Day 50 Ziqqurat
2019.08.24   Deep Space Maneuvers - Stage One and Two NOVA
2018.10.06   Skunk Day: Episode 500 - A New Hope doppelson
2018.08.18   Chalk-Full-O'Funk doppelson
2018.08.11   Lazer Mizzzion Ravensson
2018.06.30   Hot Night Squirt Gun Fight! Inefficiency
2018.06.09   Confusion Reigns DreadFlint
2018.04.07   Alohamission 2018 Boost
2017.09.16   Meskenas Mischief Snow
2017.04.08   Z Axis fstop
2017.04.01   I'm Dreaming of a White Alphamission fstop
2016.11.05   Life Day 2016 Shadowman
2016.10.29   Hallowheel sooogoood Tartheis
2016.08.14   Dawn Patrol fstop
2016.06.11   Over, Under, Around, and Through Tartheis
2016.05.07   Yer Mom Is So Chopped Bullseye
2016.04.30   Divine Comedy Snow
2016.04.23   White Hole Snow
2016.04.16   The Friendly Skies Everest
2016.04.09   B-Side Snow
2015.11.07   Omegamission 2015 Snow
2015.09.19   Bog Standard Ops Taco
2015.06.06   Hey Nineteen: SCUL Day 2015 Rocket
2015.05.30   StarBuck Rojerthat Snow
2015.05.23   Photon Overdrive Snow
2015.05.02   String Theory Taco
2015.04.18   Cloaked in Cardboard Snow
2015.04.11   Ellipsoidal Oviform Search and Rescue Rocket
2014.11.08   Overtime: Omegamission '14 Cortana
2014.10.18   Steam Release Cortana
2014.10.04   Skunk Day '14: Spring Forward, Fall Back Deadblow
2014.09.27   Catch-22 Deadblow
2014.09.13   Keep the Home Fort Burning Deadblow
2014.08.30   Balanced Diet Deadblow
2014.06.21   Operation Summer-ville Red Squirrel
2014.06.07   Starship Mumtacular Axolotl
2014.04.12   Macular Assault BadCat
2012.10.27   Hallowheels 2012 Poutine
2012.09.22   Where Is Wombat? Jive
2012.09.15   Project MUM Waldo
2012.08.18   Flight of the Bumblebee Waldo
2012.08.11   Shabadoonicorn Waldo
2011.12.31   Cranks for the Memories Yarko
2011.10.29   I'm Dreaming of a White Hallowheels DreadFlint
2011.10.08   Skunk Day Sprocket
2011.08.06   Princess 5: Hapto's Last Stand (for now) Sprocket
2011.07.23   Gong Swimmin' eXceSs
2011.05.21   So Long And Thanks For All The Ι&#... Seven Of Nine
2011.05.14   Cold Fusion Reactor Wombat
2010.10.09   Skunk Day Episode 2010 Bacon And Eggs
2010.07.03   Exquisite Corpsicle Vesper
2010.05.15   Standard Ops To JP System Tweenus
2010.05.08   Mix-Tape Warp Core Ejectulation peacefrog
2010.05.01   Articular Matters Vesper
2010.04.17   From the Death Star(t) to the Finish Tweenus
2010.04.10   Blue Angels in a Ho-down Sadie Blake
2010.04.02   Alpha-haha-mission 2010 MC Charlotte Danger
2009.07.04   Playground hackworth
2009.06.06   You (Yeah You) Shook Me All Night Long Vesper
2009.05.02   Art Like a Fart peacefrog
2009.04.25   Space, the Final Funtier Vesper
2009.04.04   Aplhamission Thalo
2008.11.01   Hallowheels 2008 Petey Wheatstraw
2008.10.04   Skunk Day Visigoth
2008.07.26   It's Hard to Be a Princess Evil Twin
2008.06.07   SCUL Day 2008 Bravo
2008.04.05   AlphaMissle 08 magneato
2007.12.31   Points We Hardly Knew Ye Yarko
2007.09.22   Back in the Saddle Again Dishpan
2006.07.29   Subconscious Party Starscream
2005.09.10   Moose Day Celebrated Oppo
2005.09.03   Somethin or other Sweetums
2005.08.26   Operation Super Posi Pinky
2005.08.20   Egg Toss Oppo
2005.08.13   No NoWay Day Oppo
2005.07.30   NamelessDay: Local Defense System GRIMLOCKE
2005.07.23   Megaseth Day Collard Greens
2005.07.16   Post SCULimpics Ezekiel
2005.06.25   LowKey Pengo
2005.06.18   DiscoInferno (VomitDay 2005) Oppo
2005.06.11   Hot and Moist Pinky
2005.06.04   SCUL Day 2005 Pinky
2005.05.28   Full Metal Jackets (R0twang Day) Slug
2005.04.23   Radiation Overload Oppo
2005.04.16   Mega Seth a liscous Treehugger
2005.04.09   Beta Missssion 05 Hothead
2005.04.02   Aplamission 05 Spooky
2004.10.30   Hallowheels 2004 (Omegamission) Drunkle
2004.10.23   Recurse The 'Verse Treehugger
2004.10.16   Jump Start Mosquito
2004.10.09   Skunk Day 04 Snarly
2004.09.04   Century Intercept Sweetums
2004.08.28   Picnic Basket (Moose Day) Bitzer
2004.07.24   Naked Keg Party RoadRash
2004.07.18   I Can't Believe It's Not Hu-man Bitzer
2004.06.19   I Dunno (vomit day) Sparky
2004.06.12   Studio 53 pywaket
2003.11.01   Hallowheels 03 Hazard
2003.10.18   Tour De Ville Trogdor
2003.09.13   Port Foint Helmet Girl
2003.09.06   Breaking Headlines Archer
2003.08.16   NoWay Day A-OK Gordos
2003.08.09   Large Melon pywaket
2003.08.02   Storm The Castle Bushido
2003.07.12   Happy Fun Times Bike Club Slug
2003.07.05   Waltor Day 2003 Slug
2003.06.28   Take The Plunge Tank Girl
2003.06.14   Double Distress Call Glyptodont
2003.05.17   Crack Day 2003 Glyptodont
2003.05.10   Get Outta Town Turtle
2002.11.02   Hallowheels Glyptodont
2002.10.26   Last Dance Glyptodont
2002.10.19   Take The Canoli Glyptodont
2002.10.12   Radiation Control Glyptodont
2002.10.05   Skunk Day Observed Glyptodont
2002.09.21   Massive Entropy Denial Glyptodont
2002.09.14   Stickem Up Snaggletooth
2002.06.22   Super Lame-o Bailout Sparky
2002.06.08   ShouldaBeenThere LoJack
2002.06.01   SCUL Day 2002 Shakes
2002.04.20   Fresh Pond Chat Bushido
2002.04.06   Alphamission 02 Tank Girl
2001.06.02   Mmmm... Ice Cream Shrapnel
2001.04.21   Beep Beep Beep Whooo! Sparky
2001.04.14   Constant Groovin' LoJack
2000.09.24   Where The Wind Blows WalTor
2000.09.09   Cutthroat RedFive
2000.08.19   Two Hundred Scale Miles Per Hour Brat
2000.08.12   It Was Working When We Left grendel
2000.08.06   Mindy Milky Gropo
2000.07.15   Slummerville Lothos
2000.06.10   DBD BBQ Gropo
2000.06.04   Siege The Castle Sparky
2000.05.20   19 Pilots vomit
1999.09.11   Quadraflat Gropo
1999.08.08   Severed Baby Head RaybeeZ
1999.05.23   Geek Corner Crack
1999.04.04   Fluffy Easter Bunny Crack
1998.06.19   Performance Fart MRI
1998.05.15   Go-NoGo Gassy D
1998.04.17   Dilly Dally Crack
1998.04.10   First Strike Crack