Mission Summary

Diva ran another boot(y) camp, and 500 maggots showed up for training and an early primer mission! There were a plethora of fresh recruits ripe for the picking, and picked they were. On the launchpad, new pilots were introduced, and maggot Cargo Dog christened his cargo trike Trikey McTrikeface and Cadet Moxie christened her ship of the same name. Lordmcfuzz led us on a leisurely twilight stroll through familiar environs, en route to a secret surprise for Magneato's birthday over near Magoun Constellation. After bidding the party adieu, we hopped on the Community Wormhole and surfed it all the way back to Davis Constellation, where we looped through an adoring crowd before taking shore leave at the Mass. Ave. 7-11. An excited civi requested a group selfie, which we obliged. We relaunched onto Mass. Ave. (via a few protracted and convoluted turns) and followed it all the way down to Cambridge Commons, where we made some wiggles through the sidestreets of Harvard Constellation and back to base, where we hazed too many maggots and Diva declared mission success. Medals of Diplomacy were awarded to Punchy and Kilo3 for assisting in leading the training class.

New/gently-used maggots:
*Cargo Dog (wingmated by Meownderthal)
*Citad3l (wingmated by Punchy)
*End Cash Bail (wingmated by Kilo3)
*Moxie (wingmated by Acehole)
*Otnaut (wingmated by Wombat)
*Paperback Wrider (wingmated by Patent Pending)
*Patch (wingmated by Truck Stop)
*Stella (wingmated by Tango)
*Vulture (wingmated by Orbital Kiosk)

Mission Report

This is Cadet Stella, reporting for reporting duty. Tonight's mission was a complete success! Despite an unexpectedly large battalion, our mission leader Diva, navigator Lordmcfuzz, and tailgunner Cosima successfully executed today's mission and achieved all mission objectives.

Notable events include:

• Our mission leader Diva oriented twelve new cadets and successfully guided nine through their first mission! (The other three had pressing engagements in their home system; no evil befell them.)
  
• Due to a supply disruption, Diva got creative and used hair containment devices to assemble cadet passports. Her ingenuity is a testament to her character.
  
• A mighty battalion of 25 ships, consisting of nine cadets and sixteen pilots, swept through the systems of Boston, Cambridge, and Somerville, dispensing numerous high-fives, stickers, and spreading the news of SCUL to hundreds of civilians.
  
• Two new warp-capable ships were inducted into the fleet: Cargo Dog's cargo transport Trikey McTrikeface and Cadet Moxie's combination cargo/supportive exoskeleton transport Moxie.¹
  
• Punchy and Kilo3 received diplomacy medals in a secret ceremony for their assistance in orienting new cadets.
  
• Punchy and Lordmcfuzz performed a HARV coupling, and BaneThunderwolf took the opportunity to superman Trinity between the two.
  
• BaneThunderwolf kept the beats funky and fresh through the whole mission, including pumping out the most epic soundtrack ever written as we flew through Harvard Constellation to the delight (and occasional confusion) of new graduates and their families. Additionally, Bane’s precision flight skills were on full display as the battalion re-emerged onto Starpath Massachusetts after a refueling stop at Station 7-11. His superman manuvers drew cheers of awe from the booty-ful crowd.
  
• We achieved our top secret objective of crashing² Magneato's solar circumnavigation celebration. Multiple pilots were able to refresh themselves in Magneato's newly retrofitted sonic shower chamber.³
  
• During this stopover, Gritty provided chalk to any battalion members who wished to sign the Scorch at Magneato's station. Many availed themselves of this opportunity, and knowledge-sharing regarding the ancient Earth custom of "hopscotch" took place. Further, a tribble was observed in its natural habitat.
  
• While several mechanicals were called, all were resolved swiftly and with minimal incident. None required bag deployment. For some reason, propulsion transfer conduits expressed a particularly high gravitational pull towards spacesuit components on this mission. Further research is required.
  
• This cadet learned how delightful it is for a large group of pilots to sound their class 1 sonic disruptors as they transit through the warp corridor at Superstation Maxwell.
  
• This cadet also learned A Secret Handshake from my wingmate Tango, as well as the value of padded spacesuit shorts.⁴
  
• At the end of the mission, nine new cadets were hazed (including yours truly) and accepted into SCUL despite their many shortcomings.
  
• Notable civilian interactions included:
  
  
  • Many, many waves and high-fives to recent graduates of various space academies.
    
  • Our battalion flew through one (1) nuptial ceremony documentation on a hyperspace byway; many pilots gave high-fives to the nuptial partners and their support team.⁵
    
  • A high-five was successfully received from a stormtrooper. The stormtrooper in question did not seem thrilled by this interaction, but nonetheless participated.⁶
    
  • A Cambridge MRC Transport gave the battalion some big HONK HONKS as we flew past the Harvard Handegg Station.
    
  • A civilian enthusiastically requested and equally enthusiastically received a group photo during our refueling stop at Station 7-11.
    
  • Multiple young hatchlings and their families received waves and high-fives. We sincerely hope that these hatchlings will join us on a mission someday.
    

<sup>1. The difficulty of disambiguating between cadet and ship was noted as a negative in this cadet's application materials, but their other fine qualities were sufficient to overcome the objection.↵
2. Metaphorical crashing only.↵
3. Your reporter is unclear on Magneato's feelings on this specific matter, but he seemed happy to see the battalion regardless.↵
4. Like, really, my tailbone is today informing me that padded spacesuit shorts are worth their weight in latinum.↵
5. Yes, we crashed2 a wedding.↵
6. The point still counts regardless of the recipient's enthusiasm.↵</sup>