Status: Failure


Lordmcfuzz's Double Doo Doo Century

Lordmcfuzz, lordmcfuzz, does whatever a spider does/ rides a ship, any size, catches points, just like flies. Look out, here comes Lordmcfuzz.....

What? That's not what you're here for? Oh. Well then.

Airlocks opened at donut o'clock, which is to say, after fuzz had properly acquired provision for his miles:donuts ratio. Dr Claw and Dead Bride were also timely. At 0720, Pastry Queen (after prompting), replied that she would be there in 10 minutes. She had been up late, while her latest ship finished raising. 30 minutes later, she arrived at the fort to find a large wrench strapped to the new ship, just where a cargo attachment was fit to sit. DC disappeared for 15 minutes while PQ struggled with her poor choice of cargo containment unit.

At 0815, pilots assembled on the lunchpad, for DC to discover that Shockwave needed further adjustments. Cue 2nd delay, just about the time that XS arrived with lights for PQ's new ship, just in time for its christening. "Pink grapefruits are sweet, yellow ones are sour, blue ones are....weird. Oh well. Here's YUM Pamplemousse, a mix of all three." Shockwave ready, pilots reassembled for for high-fiving ranks, because who uses landing gear, anyway. PQ requested to mount Pamplemousse before Navi took off, and promptly dropped the ship on the ground. Part of the cargo containment unit was a core sampler!!

Delay number 3 allowed for PQ to attempt a different containment system. And it proved mountable upon outdoor test flight! Navi took the conn, and PQ promptly dumped the new behemoth in the middle of Dane starstreet and announced that she wasn't flying. It was now 0900. Fuzz allowed her a brief tantrum and led the would-be centurions to Fort Snoogletown where Pamplemousse quickly shed its navigational thruster and cargo to the trusty (single speed) Princess Fun Police. The time was now 0945.

Navi Dead Bride takes over and the fleet sails towards Sullivan Constellation with no mishaps and the small band started the Northern Strand Wormhole. The first of many long, transport free stretches of the day. Others included The Border-To-Boston trail through Topsfield, a non-existant mystery paper wormhole (according to google) in North Andover, The Bruce Freeman Rail Trail, the Minuteman Bikeway, and the Paul Dudley White bike path.

Other highlights included Fuzz dropping chain while heading up a steep curved g-well, Fuzz being too tall to fit under things, chasing a T-rex down the wormhole, lunch at 1430, no one getting a migraine at Luna Market Bucket, getting water handups from Dreadflint while passing Fort Varnum, distressing rubbernecker civilians, exciting tiny civilians, Fuzz's mapmaking ridiculosity in Lawl, realizing our breakneck pace, racing home in time for launch, intercepts by XS and Shadowcat on the Minuteman Wormhole, and realizing Fuzz had a few more surprises in store. And the ST who came on ominously over his bullhorn somewhere in deep space to announce "That. Is. Awesome."

After a brief fuel dump at Fort Foster, Fuzz announced diabolically that the previous lightyears only totaled 85, and there would be a victory lap. (If you value your life, don't utter these words together in front of Dead Bride ever again - see the mission report for SCD Op. Unlucky Friday the 13th century to see why!) Pressing on again, XS and Shadowcat soon departed to more reasonable pastimes as cat molecules, and food snuggling. Delirious? This author? Never.

All the time on wormholes left centurions spoiled for riding next to the asteroid belt, with poor spacehighways and many signal lights. Lordmcfuzz took over navigating and the pace roared to life briefly, but the Frightening Nein is a heavy ship, and couldn't cook it for long. Dead Bride finally relaxed enough to dance in the cockpit to DC's excellent groove. Fuzz warned us that for the remaining light years, we would keep finding ways to turn when all instincts instructed us to go straight. UGH. But surprising the local mission on the launchpad, which once seemed so within reach, was quickly falling from our grasp. Then, at 99.5, Fuzz intoned "I hear something rubbing." A plasma breach. As anyone who has ever changed the primary thruster on Skylab, Iridium or Cloudbuster knows, this is no mean feat to complete in the field.

Fuzz lifted. Dr Claw pumped. Plasma was escaping as fast as it could be pumped in. No one carried duct tape in Century Bag. Dead Bride suggested bubble gum, and Pastry Queen was all too happy to oblige. The gum didn't stick upon first try, and so was wrapped in plasma casing. Dr Claw pumped, and Fuzz took off running. PQ appreciated the symmetry to Fuzz's last ride with Papa Smurf in Plasma Div, while Dr Claw warned him not to "Ditch it." He also ran the Frightening Nein home Last Mission, when the chain derailed .5 ly from the fort. The mighty centurions arrived on the launchpad to cheers and high fives from Skunk and the more sane members of SCUL, caught in the act of forging video footage of sunrise. Cheaters.

Fuzz's flat and the subsequent stop for dinner and total sculiosis destroyed all hope of pilots heading out for century no 2. Oops. There's always next season. This century completed in 10:41 moving time.

Tl;dr launched two hours late. PQ's new ship is too tall. Completed 100 light years in 12:45. Lordmcfuzz got a flat at 99.5, externally patched with gum and plasma casing to run to the landing pad.

Medal of Ingenuity to Dead Bride for being the realest MacGyver.
Medal of Strength to PQ for finishing the century on Princess Leg Day (ask her about the ratio)
Medal of Stupid to Fuzz for the whole double doo doo, and running this one in.
Pilot Ship Points Promotion
Dead Bride Dr. Moreau 2291.26   Rear Admiral, Upper Half
DrClaw Shockwave 1996.46   Admiral
Lordmcfuzz The Mighty Nein 3655.24  
Pastry Queen Princess Fun Police 2538.65   Vice Admiral
Pilots must be logged in to see the briefing.
Taskforce Pilot
Mission Leader Lordmcfuzz
Navigator Dead Bride
Tailgunner Pastry Queen
Com-Sat 1 Lordmcfuzz
Tool Bag Pastry Queen
Flat Bag Pastry Queen
Medi Bag Lordmcfuzz
Wookiee Bag DrClaw
Ambassador Lordmcfuzz
Still Cam Pastry Queen
Airlock Pastry Queen
Life Support 1 DrClaw
Life Support 2 Lordmcfuzz
Mission Reporter Pastry Queen
Stellar Cartographer Lordmcfuzz

Mission Parameters

Mission LeaderLordmcfuzz
Mission Size 4 pilots
OriginFort Tyler
Destination200 or bust
Light Years100.000
G-Well Activity1.500
Technical Rating1.230