No Matter What

How does a ship with with three wheels get six flats?

Engadget guests Gadget, Protagonist, and Goldtop joined us for a
mechanical filled mission that honored Iron Cog Day with riding,
snacking, and busting the funk, no matter the cost.

It was a rough start as the fleet had to be recalled from the launch
pad to the fort while an emergency warp core replacement was enacted
on Cloudbuster. The original core (the victim of an over-excited
Wookiee off to celebrate Life Day), was put on a steady zoob diet and
is expected to make a full recovery.

Round two: the fleet mobilized and made its way along the outskirts
of the Union constellation to a distress call. Shore leave was
short-lived however, as the disco death star suffered a close
encounter of the ground kind, resulting in a tactical withdraw back
to base for repairs. It was here that Angry Candy first flexed her
mighty muscles of discontent. If we had only known then of the
horrors to come...

With the death star repaired to ensure awesometegrity and the flat on
Angry Candy fixed, the fleet made haste to the watering hole with
spirits high. The only thing saturating the air more than the
humidity was the sweet sounds of that groovalicious funk and of cups
being crushed. High fiving came to a bitter pause as the fleet
entered the Porter constellation, Angry Candy now showing her wrath
with a pair of matching flats. Wookiees scrambled to the rescue while
the fleet grabbed snacks and busted the funk with our newfound
dancing praying mantis compatriot.

Underway once again, slight delays were had while star charts were
reexamined to ensure our path to the watering hole was true. Shore
leave was well-earned on this ride as pilots forgot their troubles
and basked in the heavy radiation, lukewarm to the touch. Meanwhile,
somewhere in the dark, Angry Candy brooded. Exiting shore leave, the
fleet practiced stopping for a mechanical so hard that one came into
existence, and then another just after we'd disembarked. The fleet
returned to the Forward Operating Base to continue mechanical
practicing, but just not as hard as before.

Wookiee soothsayers did what they could to placate the rage within
Angry Candy, but warned that the malady could return at any time.
With our guests growing weary, we again disembarked for home. A brief
respite was had while the soothsayers again worked their magic before
the fleet made the final push home. During the final leg, history was
made as the fleet hivemind assumed control and the wall formation
coalesced without so much as a word. Four lanes wide and 15 pilots
deep, the fleet rode like the iconic heroes they are.