Go-NoGo

"Anything but typical" are the best three words to describe this campaign. The mission was normal for the first 1/4 light year, then USB Reverse Trike, piloted by Waltor from Galaxy ME, blew his rear tire - the Thruster casing failure for any official SCUL mission. Some of the other pilots reported seeing a "holy light" emitting from the tire as it blew. Scientists write this off as ignited plasma, you can draw your own conclusions. Further tests to study this phenomenon proved inconclusive.

The fleet came to a screeching halt. Tests were performed to see if it was possible to ride on the rim. Unfortunately the crank to ground interface ratio was critically compromised. A rescue mission had to be executed quickly in order for the mission to continue. Skunk grabbed the fastest chopper in the fleet, USB FunStyle, and raced back to base to find another 26" wheel. He returned in moments with USB Chain Saw Bike, and FunStyle in the Hanger (over the shoulder). We removed the rear wheel of Chain Saw Bike, placed it on Reverse Trike, and locked the leftover parts to a fence. The mission was resumed.

No further than a light year later, the fleet suffered more damage. While a civilian who was traveling along with us was attempting to make repairs on his "crazy fixed gear", the troops decided to make the most of the idle moment. Gassy started to employ the battering ram on USB War, hitting trees and telephone poles. Unfortunately no one told him of the ejection method used for heavy ramming. The result was undesirable to say the least. Gassy's crotch ached for the remainder of the mission, and had more light years to log on the banana seat cockpit. The civilian's propulsion unit was no closer to repair either, so we decided to tow. USB Chrome Pony to the rescue. Sam also relied on emergency backup thrusters and local g-well activity.

We finally reached IHOP. After a brief layover we were shuttled to our fuel hanger. We then consumed mass quantities of Fuel (especially Terminator S), and dumped Waste (especially Gassy). The civilian managed to make field repairs to his craft with a standard issue Hunk of Ugly Concrete Knob (H.U.C.K).

We continued on to the parking garage for battle. The USB Chrome Pony was the center of attention, and several tests were performed, including overloading the hull with three pilots, and some alternate seating patterns. Just as USB War was about to test the Pilotless Ramming Auto Navigation Kamikaze (P.R.A.N.K.) maneuver, STs arrived and told us to leave. We returned to base without incident.

Back at Fort Francis we discovered USB Reverse Trike suffered more damage than originally noticed. The hull's mast was buckled below the captain's mast. The front end is salvageable and easily transferred, but the hull is considered structurally unsound and was sent to the scrap heap.