Status: Posi

USB Golden Eagle

In 1977 Skunk started a club – but he didn't have any friends so it was a club of one. He had a 'uniform' which consisted of brown slacks, brown shoes, a white button down shirt and a brown vest. He also had a special pin that his dad gave him that he got when he was in the Navy. It was a GOLDEN EAGLE PIN. So Skunk's gang name in 1977 was Golden Eagle.

Golden Eagle (young Skunk) had many adventures. Once he made an oil slick out of motor oil and a soft soap container. He even tried it to thwart some bullies that were picking on him – unfortunately it backfired when it poured oil over Skunk's primary thruster instead of the pavement. The bullies were laughing too hard to chase him, so he had that going for him.

Fast forward to the year 2019 when this awesome dude named Jeff sent me this transmission:


Greetings Ambassador...

I'm writing to offer up for reengineering and deployment my very own original 1980 Columbia MX bike (photos attached). Assembled in Westfield, MA and purchased by Mom and dad Pop in Morrisville, NY, this thing has travelled through 38 years on a cosmic wave of Van Halen, X-Men Comics, and Aquanet to find YOU, the discerning funkmaster.

For the trained adventurer, this weighty steel beast is no mere vehicle – it is a LightCycle.
I personally logged hundreds of hours escaping Sark's legions and defeating Master Control Program, all while pedaling my ass back and forth to the 7-11 in Elmira, NY (Elmira, incidentally, is where coaster brakes like the one on this rock and roll bandit were manufactured by the Bendix Corporation). On this sublime machine, one can confidently cruise the streets like a total badass with a bag of Marvel comics in one hand and a Slurpee in the other.

Add a constant rotation of Van Halen, Ratt, and Twisted Sister to the mix and you'll get noticed by the Mall Babes fer sure. The graphics on the chain guard alone tell you everything you need to know. You want some Stranger Things in your life? This ride turns you inside out and upside down.

Sure, nearly 4 decades and storage in several states takes a toll. There's a little rust, and a little checking on the original tires – which still have plenty of knob. I offer this gratis, but only for those who get a feeling when they look at it, like maybe Boss Hogg and Roscoe P. Coltrane are hot on your tail.

Please reply with your interest or refusal.


This ship bore an uncanny resemblance to Golden Eagle's first ship ever, which bore no name. Although Skunk's was a Huffy Thunder Road. Close enough!

Skunk put a claim tag on it the moment he touched the grips – the same squishy MX grips that he had in '77 – and took it into the USB shipyard where it sat for months, waiting for the right time. And when that time came, it happened quickly – with the help of Nova it was transformed, painted welds and all, in ninety minutes: two hours before the mission. Despite the rapid construction of this ship, it withstood a punishing mission without a single mechanical, with hot welds and wet paint.

It was important that this ship maintained the same vibe and spirit and a very similar warp signature to that first ship, so the fork had to be chopped in a way that fit with the rest of the design. Some squished thin-wall 4130 was used to add about a 6.5" extension. The fit-up wasn't ideal since the fork blades tapered, but Skunk managed to fill the gaps with some extra TIG wire. Then the raw steel and the welds got some matching black spray paint and we reassembled it, still warm with recent welds and paint still tacky in spots.

This ship handles exceptionally well – leaning hard into very tight turns with confidence. It stops on a dime - and thanks to a three inch booster stanchion upgrade, the ship accelerates well too. Like all ships with banana seats turbulence gives a beating in all the wrong places.



Light Years176.11
Thrust Rating7.315
Handling Rating9.442
Difficulty Rating2.34
Max Warp1

Construction Data

Hull MaterialSteel
Hull Type1980 Columbia MX
Chief EngineerSkunk
OriginThis awesome guy named Dave
Christened on2019.09.21
Navi RetroNone
Primary RetroCoaster


2023.09.03   Dead by Dawn NoWay
2023.08.26   Dr.Claw Day Oldskool Kool Truck Stop
2023.08.19   Local Patrol Truck Stop
2023.07.08   Ameri-can-Yeah! Skunk
2023.06.24   Locate the Sansa-Spacesuit People Wombat
2023.01.28   Crow's Nest Skunk
2022.10.22   Putt Putt starduck
2021.07.10   Two-tee Fiver GRIMLOCKE
2021.04.10   Semi-official Beta Spectacular Skunk
2020.04.04   Alternamission Skunk
2019.10.05   Skunk Day 50 ktron
2019.09.21   To The 29 Monuments: Lordmcfuzz Day Skunk