- compete in several feats of strength and/or silliness
- take scrupulous notes about non-serious events
- cheer on fellow pilots
- return to the landing pad with no more than 2 injuries--needing to go to a local hospital is automatic failure
Mission SummaryAfter many earth-years of dormancy, the full glory of the SCULimpic games returned once again to the Metro Alpha systems. Nine pilots and one incognito mustachioed guest departed Fort Antwerp to travel the vast distances to our ceremonial destination. Right out of the gate Pestilence dropped chain, but was back in action in no time flat even without Toolbag. After an early snack stop at Luna Star Market after some initial street wiggling, we arrived at the ceremonial grounds. Before docking, the crew orbited and was unexpectedly joined by some Klingons from the Vermont system riding BMX's.
Upon arrival, Diva lit the eternal flame and pilots danced the SCUL march as part of opening ceremonies. The SCUL march was successfully performed, although several pilots dropped from the sacred rite due to the complexity of the maneuver. The crew split into two groups. One braved the journey back to Fort Antwerp to resupply while the other remained to protect the hallowed grounds. Flying arthropods began feasting on the pilots until Snow returned with repellent, along with rest of the crew (and Toolbag).
The festivities commenced with events such as Limbo, Tour de Pants, Donut Race, Doublemint, and Doubles.
Limbo by far featured the most competitors. Each pilot took turns flying ships under progressively lower bars. The bars dropped so low that helms were loosened and angled downward to provide optimal clearance. Gritty took bronze. Mustachio took silver. And Skunk spacewalked away with the gold.
Tour de Pants was the second event. Two pilots. Two ships. One pair of pants. This contest resembled the terran three legged race except there were spaceships and pants. Only 3 teams competed, with 5 pilots, due to the difficulty and danger of the maneuver. Bronze went to Patent Pending/Skunk. Silver went to Diva/Skunk. Gold was taken by Mustachio/Kilo3.
The crew then relocated for the rest of the festivities to a nearby zone in the sector. There was a brief scare when Gritty was ejected from her ship, but fortunately she was unscathed.
The next event was Doublemint. The contest required pilots to travel a loop with two ships, switching primary ships in the return direction. Skunk was ambitious in trying to carry Chastity and it unfortunately cost him the race. In an impressive display, Meownderthal took the gold while performing a wheelie over the finish line.
The fourth event was the Donut Race. Each pilot was required to complete a loop and finish eating a donut before crossing the finish line. Patent Pending took gold, Meownderthal silver, and Mustachio took bronze.
Before the final event, the crew was visited by a terran canine. They were most certainly a good dog and received well deserved pets. They were briefly spooked by the strange figures practicing for the final event.
The last event of the night was Doubles. Two pilots. One ship. Each team was required to complete one larger loop. Every competitor elected to fly Centvrion and share the banana. The course was treacherous, especially along the initial stretch and first turn. Each flight successfully avoided injury. Sadly the same could not be said of the spectators. While cheering on the final race, Skunk stubbed and sprained his foot at the treacherous first turn, resulting in the first Medal of Injury of our allotted quota. After medals were distributed, Kilo3 administered first aid. The combination of Skunk/Red Squirrel took bronze (losing only by 0.3 seconds to Patent Pending's captaining of Centvrion) and Mustachio/Patent Pending took gold.
After the final event, the crew took a few minutes for well deserved rest. The crew once again split to return supplies back to the fort. They then spacewalked back to the festival grounds to gather the rest of the supplies and the remaining pilots before traveling back to the fort. It was during this return journey that an unexpected turn of events occurred. Patent Pending observed what seemed to be Truck Stop's civilian ship in a most unusual location locked to a space tree. This observation was considered a passing curiosity and promptly dismissed. The night was a success. The mission was over. Or was it?
Alas! It was stolen! Patent Pending received a call that the ship was indeed missing. The galactic patrol was contacted, but they refused to provide assistance in rescuing the stolen ship. Determined to retrieve their comrade's vessel, attempts were made to free the ship using hacksaws, but they were futile. Eventually, a transport was obtained to retrieve a power inverter from the Brookline System.
Wombat, displaying bravery and resourcefulness, decided to stay behind at the fort and bring the angle grinder to Truck Stop's ship. Diligently, Wombat used the tool to wear down the space pirate's anchor despite the inverter regularly overloading after just half a second of use, requiring a manual reset each time. Hours went by, and the Daystar rose, marking the passing of time as the rescue mission continued.
Finally, after a long and arduous effort, the ship was successfully freed, and the remaining pilots dispersed.
Events and winners:
-Bronze: Gritty out at 3'6"
-Silver: Mustachio out at 3'4"
-Gold: Skunk out at 3'2"
*Tour de Pants
-Bronze: Patent Pending/Skunk 45.32 s
-Silver: Diva/Skunk 37.28 s
-Gold: Mustachio/Kilo3 25.9 s
-Bronze: Mustachio 31.9 s
-Silver: Meownderthal 21.7 s
-Gold: Patent Pending 20.21 s
*Doublemint (1 pilot, 2 ships)
-Bronze: Kilo3 39.61 s
-Silver: Mustachio 33.84 s
-Gold: Meownderthal 21.76 s
*Doubles (2 pilots, 1 ship) (captain/monkey)
-Bronze: Skunk/Red Squirrel 36.8 s
-Silver: Patent Pending/Mustachio 36.5 s
-Gold: Mustachio/Patent Pending 33.6
Medal of Injury to Skunk for his sprained foot at the pump track
Medal of Patronage to Wombat for liberating Truck Stop's stolen civie