Status: Success


8-bit Seal Cruft


8-Bit Seal Cruft is the first mission in a multiplayer side scroller developed by the M.A.D. Organization in the early 90's. You control a cadre of drunk orangutans armed with sonic and laser disruptors, and your job is to safely launch them, steer them through the backwaters of the Metro Boston System, check in at waypoints at the Cruft Laboratories and the Aquarium, and
finally return to the fort having lost as few drunk orangutans as possible in the process.

The sound track for this mission was one of the only 8-bit video game soundtracks to receive the coveted 'Platinum Blippity Bleep-Bloop Award' (most are won by artists with a higher resolution).

Walkthrough for Mission 1: 8-Bit Seal Cruft

MRC Zone

The MRC Zone begins with the steel tubing dismantled, several previously organized far wall objects pseudo-randomly scattered, and the Fort peppered with miscellaneous boxes containing unsorted items. Half the fort is shrouded in a partial Fog of War, one droid and the printer don't
function properly and there is a looming pile of trash that your consort of drunk orangutans
keeps wandering into and getting swallowed by. Your task is to find appropriate locations for as many objects as possible,increase your manufacturing capability in order to power-up ships during later missions, and find sonic and laser array powerups. There is a time limit of three hours to complete this level.

You start the level with the lowest amount of sonic disruption possible (Second-Hand Crap-Ass Droid Speakers from Ghangzou) and your Stationary Laser Array at 50%. The final level map is provided at the beginning of the level; this level is unique among platform scrollers in that you'll
actually be building part of the level as a way of working through it.

Start by managing orangutan resources. Set some of them on the droid issues to accomplish bonus tasks like replenishing consumable items such as insignia and BADDVIPS tags. You may notice that some orangutans get stuck in sections of the level that are blocked by boxes -- remove items from the boxes and put them into position. Each box will collapse as it gets emptied. But watch out!! Every box that's emptied adds to the ominous pile of Trash
and its neighbor Recycling Waste. Make sure to allocate drunk orangutans to trash
removal periodically!

Be sure to fix some orangutans in place to start expanding your Workbench. The Workbench is where ship power-ups are manufactured on subsequent missions.

As boxes are emptied, you'll find that one of them contains a Fixed Wide-Field Laser. Talk to Threespeed before attaching this to the fort otherwise you may end up electrocuting the orangutan that picks the laser up. The laser can be mounted to the chalkboard; after it's set up the Fog of War will disappear.

Orangutans may temporarily disappear closer to the end of the level in order to forage for food. This is normal and is not a cause for concern. They will return.

For bonus points, open the Cryogenic Containment Unit to discover Mutating Unlabeled Food Items. Your drunk orangutans may attempt to eat these. Don't let this happen! You'll end up losing some orangutans early on in the game. Set orangutans in place to clean the Cryo Unit. There's a catch here, too -- the trash generated by the Cryo Unit is food waste, which must be ejected from the fort immediately otherwise Space Roaches will overrun the fort during later missions.

After handling the Cryo Unit, find a Class 3 Sonic Disruptor and two Sonic Disruptor Dishes near the R4-D5 Astromech Droid. Set these up in order to boost your Fort's Sonic Disruptor Array to maximum levels. This will increase orangutan productivity by 50%.

At this point you'll need to start outfitting orangutans with Ships. Ships protect the orangutans during spaceflight. Orangutans need a working Fort in order to repair ships to 100% before launch.

Assign jobs to orangutans after they have been assigned to a ship.

You'll pass this level if all orangutans are outfitted with ships and all the critical jobs have been assigned by launch time.

Space Travel Zone 1

Send the orangutans to assemble outside of the fort. BE SURE TO SET YOUR MOBILE DISRUPTOR ARRAY TO 0% FIRST!!! Noise levels above 5% will cause S.T.'s to arrive and wipe out the orangutans before they travel to the launchpad.

Beware of the fort airlock! It won't close properly. You'll need to re-enter the fort, explore all its rooms and find the Megaplex Operator clicking madly away on a droid in a side room. Talk to the Megaplex Operator and he will repair the airlock for you.

While the airlock is being repaired send your orangutans to the launchpad in order to keep noise levels in fort airspace down.

Launch should proceed relatively smoothly. Set your sonic disruptor array at 80% in order to keep your orangutans happy and repel any undesirable food. This setting could cause a few orangutans to get sucked out of their ship's airlock if they are fatigued, but the overall groove level will stay high and you'll reach the waypoints faster. Orangutans will collect high-five
and cup power-ups automatically during space travel. Navigate them successfully through several constellations. For bonus points, get flashed by a pair of meat-based headlights near the Harvard Constellation.

Stop at Luna 7-Eleven for food molecules and Luna MIT in order to dump fuel. You may lose a few orangutans at this point due to fatigue but overall groove levels will stay high.

Watch out for a punch masquerading as a high-five by the Central Constellation, and be careful steering H.A.R.V.s near transports and heavy transports on planet Mass Ave.

Finally, navigate the orangutans through the Charles Asteroid Belt to successfully end this zone at the entrance to the Cruft Laboratories.

Cruft Laboratories Waypoint

This waypoint is fairly peaceful. Send some orangutans to enter Cruft Laboratories to interact with other drunk orangutans and imbibe food molecules. As a bonus, find the pole dancer in the back area of the laboratories.

You could gain a drunk orangutan or two at this waypoint depending on overall groove levels.

Space Travel Zone 2

The orangutan fleet will come under heavier fire from food during this segment. Just keep groove levels high with adequate sonic disruption and avoid the increasingly aggressive and erratic food. There is ample opportunity for high-fives and cups during this level. Beware that some orangutans may start complaining of chopper crotch towards the end of this level, and watch for ships starting to take damage from meteorites.

You may be able to coax damaged ships to the next waypoint.

Aquarium Waypoint

The major attraction at this waypoint will be the large collection of caged aquatic androids under stasis. Androids in stasis are periodically responsive to laser arrays but it is best not to wake them as they are gentle, peace-loving creatures.

Feel free to rearrange the food corral at the aquarium to keep groove levels up, and just for ya-yas.

Space Travel Zone 3

At this point most of the mission is complete -- way to go! Zone 3 is all about resource management. Orangutans will start taking damage as well as ships. Your primary nemesis will be chopper crotch.

Beware of a tricky bit of navigating near Constellations Inman and the intersection of the orbital paths of planets Beacon and Hampshire.

There's a chance that the navigation can get loopy at this point -- your best strategy may be to spiral in to the launchpad instead of approaching it directly -- check chopper crotch levels carefully before attempting this.

You'll successfully complete this zone -- and the mission -- by losing no more than 30% of your mission's starting orangutan reserves by the time the mission ends.
Pilot Ship Points Promotion
AceHole Temerity 423.092   Ensign
BaneThunderwolf Skylab 820.63   Lieutenant Commander
DrClaw Lazarus 696.435  
hackworth Greed 1057.16  
Ichirinsya Wakizashi 0  
Leotard Trinity 387.192  
metoikos Devastation 441.063  
moose Civilian Ship 42.7124  
Nosepicker Civilian Ship 42.7124  
pecan Darkendank 272.813   Petty Officer Third Class
Self Destruct Annihilation 384.473   Master Chief Petty Officer
Seven Of Nine Swamp Thing 617.931  
Stogie Wingnut 673.893  
Treekiller chlorophyll 798.544   Admiral, Fleet Ready
Wombat Cloudbuster 522.116  
yt Secret Asian SCULly 543.157  
ZyGoat Vindaloo 213.562   Rear Admiral, Lower Half
Pilots must be logged in to see the briefing.
Taskforce Pilot
Mission Leader DrClaw
Deck Officer metoikos
Gate Attendant Seven Of Nine
MRC Officer Skunk
Navigator Stogie
Tailgunner BaneThunderwolf
Com-Sat 1 AceHole
Tool Bag BaneThunderwolf
Flat Bag Self Destruct
Medi Bag AceHole
Wookiee Bag Treekiller
Still Cam Stogie
Airlock pecan
Life Support 1 Treekiller
Life Support 2 DrClaw
Damage Control Wombat
Mission Reporter hackworth
Food Wrangler yt
Sentry Stogie
Stillcam Downloader Stogie

Mission Parameters

Mission LeaderDrClaw
Mission Size 17 pilots
OriginFort Tyler
DestinationFunk in an 8bit Universe
Light Years18.453
G-Well Activity1.491
Technical Rating4.315