Luna Libros II: Codex Schmodex
When last we left our funktastic bass droppers, The Starchasers had managed to seal a bizarre spacial anomaly known only as “The Rift,” the cause of recent space time flatulence resulting in excessive radiation. However, once the Rift reached snare drum pressures, it spewed forth a veritable geiser of cosmic debris before ultimately succumbing to our sonic face cavities and collapsing into itself. Among the debris of bread and dripping, a bit of green paint and corrugated iron was discovered a crystal pomegranate, glowing maroon and transparent with the exception of strange markings across it's seemingly adamantine surface, carved deeply by some ancient and forgotten magics. After a collective “Whoa,” our Starchasers returned to their beloved Fort Jonathan, cosmic devil fruit in tow, determined to figure out all its dirty little secrets. •••
Those secrets, dear reader, would tell of a legendary codex written by mythical pilots of yore! Smashed, chewed-up, and broken into five pieces, this grand opus was scattered throughout nearby star systems, each piece hidden near a local Athenaeum. These ancient arcane citadels, once believed to be as lost as shaker of salt, were once again found on stardate 130518. Having identified the approximate coordinates of these five texts and, joined by a royal squadron from SCUL Prime, set out to extract them and learn more of the Legend of the Starchasers!
Coordinates locked, Ashera's "Funbag" in tow, and all other bags strapped securely to the back of one very strong Baggadonuts, our brave heroes were ready to embark on this great adventure. Our scans indicated that the security systems were still in place. Only Astro-Librarians, ancient stewards of intellectualism, are permitted within the walls of the temples. Therefore, we had to go undercover and adjust our sonic disruptor array to mask our ships' spectral signature. With the aid of the mighty Cloudbuster to boost the signal, our stratagem was flawlessly executed. Even the patrolling ST transports and spacewalkers were deceived by our clever clever ruse.
Once within range of each of the temples, our scanners went wobbledy wobbledy wop and were forced to search the area without the aid of our advanced technology. Suddenly, a bouquet of silver sinew enveloped our mission leader and he was possessed with the ghostly voice of the resident automated archivist, which haunts these hallowed halls. Through him we were blessed with the message of our long lost ancestors.
At the pinnacle of our mission, a visit to The Arena was in order. There we celebrated our victory, while some pilots tested their skill against that of their brothers and sisters in arms, and others tested the softness of the grass below. Finally, Ashera and Baggadonuts were knighted for their strength and bravery, and we began our long trek home with warm fuzzies in our hearts.
Playing host to our cousins from the Somerverse was a most delightful experience and we look forward to the opportunity to do it again in the very near future. Until then, true believers, look to the stars...
"Legend of the Starchasers"
Translation by 4th DIV Admiral Civitron
AFAR! Wild chase in stars above has sped / Along grand and heavy nebulae ascends / Upward in pillars of chromasonic waves / Alighting the heavens in funkadelic blaze / Laughter and hi-fives mellowing the vibe / On irradiated earth and celestial ocean tide.
[Second stanza... Garbled... Something about "No Mas Pantalones"... Ultimately, lost in translation...]
Music fills the air and lasers shine bright / Projecting alien shadows cast by the light / The loftiest, on its’ summit now attained / Day Star, bespoked with emanating flame / Hidden ‘neath horizon: another in the race / Slanting opposed and with an eastward face / Catching golden light. Suddenly did appear / The shadow of a stag, before Orion’s spear.
“Chaser of Stars, what dreams may come.” / Traveling through space our warp coils hum / Devouring worlds within a cyclone thruster / Transfer conduits propelling fast as we can muster / As from faint nebulae bright worlds are deigned / And so return to vapor. Starships are designed / Constructs of past-lived atoms from oh so many things / Like shoes, ships and sealing wax, cabbages & kings.
As if from books of mythology, of long lost tales to tell / The interstellar dance has ceased, gone around the swell / Sudden from a secret place sweeps the stag a-bounding / A new chase is on! Our choppers groove fantastically astounding / “Ahoy! Brave heroes!” Lovingly the heavens call our name / All hail the Starchasers! May adventure be your quest and aim."