Status: Success


Don't Tell Mom

Mission Objectives

visit Lonewulfe's territory
consume pasta
visit magazine beach

Mission Summary

Episode V

It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been
destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their
hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.

We started in SPACE (not EARTH space) we each had 12 wookie dongs and
tried to keep them alive through the night. None survived, so we had a
wicked wookie dong roast and all were welcome. Then we all died and
went to SOTVOCORE and hung out with Kaless the unforgettable and drank
$240 worth of blood wine and then we went to the ancient icecream
island sex cave and watched all the ponies that had been banished from
Carealot get it on. aaaaahhhhhhhh yyyyeeeeeaahhh!

This mission was small (only 15) compared to weeks preceding, as V-Dogg, Moose,
and Moneyshot all went with Rotwang to the Olde Parentwang
Homestead. There were two maggots, Dopey and OldNome, who were
promoted to Aviators after the mission. Diva and WalTor showed up to
see the pilots off, and also to make sure that no one set the fort on
fire or did anything inordinately stupid. Skunk being away, USB
Catastrophe was available, and Nameless gleefully decided to show it a
good time. (\"A Good Time\" means, \"Encouraged As Many People As
Possible To Ride It Sans Spacesuits\".)

PigPen navigated this mission, leading the pilots through Inman Square
to Magazine Beach. We stopped there for mechanicals, spacesuit
removal, and consumption of beer molecules.

We continued to take a circuitous route, so as not to give away the location of LoneWulfe's colony to the native Civilians. After much Negi-G-Well terrain, we finally ended up at LoneWulfe's colony, where bicycle-shaped pasta food was consumed, and merriment was made.

Activities included chewing with one's mouth open, leaving the toilet
lid open, not brushing one\'s teeth, and eating ice cream for
breakfast. Eventually we made it back to Fort Summer, with no serious
damage to ships or pilot

Evil Twin and Nosepicker schoolboyed the biscuits out of UglySac,
which was hilarious. He got all mad and everyone laughed at him.

We invented a new game where you sneak up behind a pilot and blow your
nose on him/her. They get a point every time that happens. Nosepicker
lost with a high score of 23.5.

After that we rode to Earth New Hampshire and everyone got
Intersomethingorother medals, which was cool, but we flatted all our
space-tubes and had to walk back through the ocean, which is kind of
like being nekkid in space, but with less hamburgers.

In closing remember the words from that famous once scientist; \"You
know in Star Wars, where they say \'We\'re going where nobody has ever
been?\' That\'s where we\'re going.\" That\'s where we went.

Pilot Ship Points Promotion
Asher VWBeetle 350.253  
beezwax One Night Stand 809.025   Commander
Bologna Scrub 310.487   Senior Chief Petty Officer
Bushido Summer 471.794   Vice Admiral
Concarne Pig Champion 825.977   Lieutenant Junior Grade
Deadline Bumblebee 348.579   Petty Officer Second Class
Dopey Darkendank 148.36   Aviator First Class
Evil Twin Holy Molar 566.751   Captain
Nameless Catastrophe 659.119   Commodore
Nosepicker Bonnie & Clyde 389.757   Lieutenant Commander
Old Nome Doctor Love 197.8   Aviator First Class
PigPen Delirium 504.161   Lieutenant Commander
Threespeed DexionDestroyer 220.454   Master Chief Petty Officer
TorqueBox Skylab 344.026   Commander
Zappa Bad Motivator 1338.12   Captain
Pilots must be logged in to see the briefing.
Taskforce Pilot
Navigator PigPen
Tailgunner Concarne
Tool Bag Zappa
Medi Bag Evil Twin
Life Support 1 Nameless

Mission Parameters

Mission Size 15 pilots
OriginFort Summer
DestinationLonewulfe Colony
Light Years12.570
G-Well Activity3.260
Technical Rating4.350