Logan Express

Mission Summary

Twenty pilots reported for duty. Three maggots, no maiden voyages. Our
mission parameters: to boldly go where no chopper has gone before!
Admiral Waltor came up with the idea to go to Logan StarPort.

We decided on a quick derby at the Market Basket Arena to battle
harden us for the journey. Mucus became a bit too battle hardened when
he got caught behind NoWay and was dragged several feet, injuring
his ankle. NoWay managed to stay in the derby by not dabbing. Needless
to say, the crowd went nuts! After cooling the injury with a Schlitz in
his sock we were ready to continue with the journey.

The trip to Logan StarPort was treacherous indeed: the streets through the Chelsea
and East Boston systems were filled with glass and other granky space debris, and
construction on Bigus Digus compounded the navigation. We found a local guide, who
informed us the place was filled with "crazy people", showed us the
way to go. When we arrived at Logan StarPort there was much to see. We
eventually found a scenic wormhole along the water, which seemed to satisfy
our criteria. We decided it was time to return to base. After checking
our chronometers and discussing the options, we decided to head back
though a mega-wormhole known as the Ted Williams tunnel.

At first Skunk did not realize the magnitude of this decision. When we
turned right at the "Authorized Vehicle Only" through the toll booth,
I gained a little more insight. Descending into the huge mouth of the
tunnel made me feel like the Millennium Falcon hiding from the Empire
in the giant asteroid, the air was warm like a giant's breath.

What an eerie place to be at 3am Sunday morning! It seemed to descend
to the bowels of Boston, each minute becoming more overwhelming than
the last. We all began to scream and cheer. Skunk blasted RadioBox
with all the might the power couplings could muster, the horn on full.
Skunk became so exited that his gums bled. Finally the road seemed to
rise, or momentum no longer providing velocity as the large negi G-well
challenged our mightiest ships. As we kicked our boosters into full thrust, we began
to sense we were nearing the egress. Just as we felt
we were in the clear the blue strobe of police lights approached
rapidly from behind. We pulled over. The storm trooper slowly got out
of his cruiser.

"Whose bright idea was this?" he said in a masked but slightly jovial
way. Vomit explained our treacherous journey to Logan and how we
thought this was the safest way back. He told us he'd give us a break,
that they usually give bikes a break and that he'd give us a full
escort out of the tunnel. He couldn't have been cooler.
We acquired solid fuels and returned to base without incident.