Status: Success


Ah, Go Fly a Kite!

Mission Objectives

make a kite
ride to secret atmospheric testing location
achieve flight of our instruments

Mission Summary

Ehawk led this mission to perform a series of tests on the local
atmosphere, employing a class of scientific instruments I will refer
to in this report as K.I.T.E.S (Keenly Indicating Tactile Ether
Samplers). Dishpan documented all tests and has posted the critical
observations here.

Launch was delayed the day of the mission as Skunk and Pywaket
transported themselves to an undisclosed location to acquire the most
sophisticated k.i.t.e.s. for testing by the assembled pilots. MegaSeth
showed up to test a super secret ram air design that he had
fabricated himself. Inside the Fort, Ehawk constructed a k.i.t.e. that
was exceptionally pretty but impractical for space flight, as she
would learn upon testing in the field. She wore it like a backward
shield of Athena as we flew through the Somerville system to the test

After Fleet formalities on the launch pad, including the christening
of Dr. HeadCrash's new ship, UTM Moosey Fate in a cockpit-soaking
cascade of PBR, the rallying call erupted and AxeMan the Brave took
charge of the Fleet. Over hill and dale we rode, with a brief stop at
a very full parking lot. Pilots were confused by the sheer number of
transports so ended up buying provisions rather than derbying.

Acting on keen instinct, AxeMan led us on a brief reconnaisance of
Alewife space station to determine if there were alien threats lurking
there, then rounded back to the secret test site where, we understood,
there was open space and breeze a plenty. We stormed an advantageous
hill top under the burning gaze of the Evil Day Star, and seized a
clear docking platform. Pecan opened the pannier pods on Sugar Daddy
and set out rations aplenty. Dillweed saw to the proper hydration of
the crew. Dozer sacrificed a pineapple and the entrails augured well.

K.i.t.e.s of all sorts were deployed. Pilots tested square kites and
determined they could dance to the music during sampling. Threespeed
(or was it Skunk?) briefly aerated the sod with the pointy attack-kite
before succesfully putting it aloft. Hapto tested Molluscan and
Lepidopteran k.i.t.e.s., which were eventually flown cheek by jowl,
though neither invertebrate has cheeks nor jowls. Asher rolled out her
huge amphibious transport kite, larger in surface area than all other
k.i.t.e.s. tested, and filled it with plasma. She and Dozer fiddled
with it for the whole mission, but Charlie Brown kite karma prevailed.
MegaSeth also experienced technical difficulty with his sophisticated

After the conclusion of the tests, we descended the hill and stopped
for a brief fuel dumping session. In performing an acrobatic trick
demonstrated by the gymnastic Dillweed, Retard and Hapto discovered a
creative way to bounce one's jaw against the tarmac. Sniffles
showed superior pilot reflexes, remaining in superb control of her
ship as AbandonAllHope became too friendly on the flight home.
Pilot Ship Points Promotion
Asher Bicycle Descending A Staircase 98.8381   Petty Officer Second Class
Axeman Compliance 205.628   Petty Officer Second Class
Dishpan Darkendank 108.366   Petty Officer Second Class
Dozer Abandon All Hope 241.493  
Dr HeadCrash Moosey Fate 118.629   Aviator First Class
eHawk Devastation 397.67  
Leotard Summer 286.685  
MegaSeth Night Fever 120.346  
pecan Sugardaddy 224.664   Captain
pywaket Skylab 115.488  
Skunk Cloudbuster 189.542  
Sniffles Circus Peanut 0   Pilot
Threespeed Schadenfreude 103.072  
Pilots must be logged in to see the briefing.
Taskforce Pilot
Mission Leader eHawk
Navigator Axeman
Tailgunner Asher
Tool Bag Hapto
Flat Bag Threespeed
Medi Bag MegaSeth
Ambassador Leotard
Chalk Bag Leotard
Still Cam Dishpan
Airlock Dozer
Life Support 1 Skunk
Damage Control Sniffles
Mission Reporter Dozer
Beer Mule dillweed
Food Wrangler pecan

Mission Parameters

Mission LeadereHawk
Mission Size 13 pilots
OriginFort Summer
DestinationA windy place
Light Years5.390
G-Well Activity2.320
Technical Rating1.470