Status: Posi

USB Abandon All Hope

USB Abandon All Hope is the oldest ship in the SCUL fleet. The very christening of this ship is celebrated as the birthday of SCUL itself.

Abandon All Hope was made in 1996 with a lot of help from people who knew what they were doing, and could do it well - all of them worked at Merlin Metalworks at the time, and Skunk still works with all of them to this day at Seven Cycles. While Skunk came up with the design, Crusty donated the ship to start with, Fuel Injector helped with the fork design, Terminator S did the machining, and Gassy D welded everything.

The ram is telescopic, from long to ridiculously long, and is adjustable with quick release seat post binders. You wouldn't think the clamping force would be enough to keep the wheel from rotating on its own, but there's not much weight on the front so it works.

This ship has had it's forked snapped off, and the head tube completely ripped off, but we keep ressurecting old Ironsides, because that's what SCUL does.


Light Years2086.2
Thrust Rating3.84
Handling Rating0.12
Difficulty Rating8.69
Max Warp1

Construction Data

Hull MaterialSteel
Hull TypeSchwinn Speedster
Chief EngineerSkunk
WelderGassy D
Christened on1996.06.06
LocationFort Tyler
Navi RetroCoaster
Primary Retro


2021.07.10   Two-tee Fiver Wombat
2019.06.01   The Fog of Time: SCUL Day '19 Wombat
2019.05.11   Tribblespottin' Lordmcfuzz
2018.05.26   SCUL Day 22 Wombat
2017.08.12   Sons of Perseus Natas
2017.07.01   SCUL Day Observed Wombat
2017.06.17   Luna XII-Undecim Shepherd
2017.06.03   Night Market Garden: A Bridge Too Far Lordmcfuzz
2017.04.01   I'm Dreaming of a White Alphamission Wombat
2016.10.08   Skunk Day '16 Lordmcfuzz
2016.08.14   Dawn Patrol Lordmcfuzz
2016.06.04   Twentieth Anniversary Fox Wombat
2016.05.21   Night Market Rendezvous *TOP SEKRET Lordmcfuzz
2016.04.30   Divine Comedy DrClaw
2015.06.06   Hey Nineteen: SCUL Day 2015 Wombat
2014.10.04   Skunk Day '14: Spring Forward, Fall Back DreadFlint
2014.09.27   Catch-22 Mongoose
2014.08.16   Let's Get Physical DreadFlint
2013.09.21   Night of the Flying Maggots Giraffe
2013.06.01   Sweet Seventeen Wombat
2012.09.08   Spokesfest Civilian Escort Wombat
2011.10.08   Skunk Day Spark
2011.06.04   SCULimpics 2011 DrClaw
2011.04.30   Let Them Eat Cake Sadie Blake
2011.04.09   Repo Men Wombat
2010.08.21   Get Committed to the Asylum Shock Wave Dave
2009.04.25   Space, the Final Funtier Luna Kahuna
2008.10.11   Ba-Honk-a-donk in tha Trunk Quandary
2008.04.19   Don't Tell Megaseth it's MegaSeth Day Giraffe
2007.10.27   Omegamission AceHole
2007.10.20   Ah, Go Fly a Kite! Dozer
2007.10.13   This Little Piggie Cried OW!!! Turducken
2006.10.07   Skunk Day 2006 - Scorpion Bowl Agenda Secret Chief
2006.09.23   We Accidentally Terminated An Earthling Eureka
2006.09.09   Homecoming Queen Captain Underpants
2006.08.12   eXtremo™ Nameless Day, 2006 Triumphus
2006.08.05   Swing Set (Diva Day) Secret Chief
2006.07.08   Waltor Day 2006 Treehugger
2006.07.01   First of July Friend
2006.06.24   June Oh Ween Zappa
2006.06.10   Rumble In Somerville Mars
2006.05.27   Keep On Truckin (Rotwang Day) Eureka
2006.05.06   Alphamission 06 AceHole
2005.10.30   Hallowheels05 Eureka
2005.10.22   Penultimate Radiation Conundrum Eureka
2005.09.24   Isla Castilia Eureka
2005.09.17   Rain Rain Go Away Eureka
2005.09.10   Moose Day Celebrated Kaibosch
2005.09.03   Somethin or other Eureka
2005.08.26   Operation Super Posi dillweed
2005.08.20   Egg Toss Shakes
2005.08.13   No NoWay Day Onath
2005.07.30   NamelessDay: Local Defense System Mosquito
2005.07.23   Megaseth Day Kaibosch
2005.07.16   Post SCULimpics Brewer
2005.06.11   Hot and Moist Sweetums
2005.05.28   Full Metal Jackets (R0twang Day) Sweetums
2005.05.21   No Plan beezwax
2005.04.30   Nothing But Strong Kaibosch
2005.04.23   Radiation Overload Mosquito
2005.04.16   Mega Seth a liscous Phooka
2005.04.09   Beta Missssion 05 Ezekiel
2005.04.02   Aplamission 05 Rotwang
2004.10.16   Jump Start Nosepicker
2004.10.09   Skunk Day 04 Treehugger
2004.09.11   College Rock Phooka
2004.09.05   Southern Exposure (Century 04) Snarly
2004.08.21   Wet and Wild Nosepicker
2004.08.14   NoWay No-Show Nosepicker
2004.07.31   Tour De Nosepicker Rotwang
2004.07.24   Naked Keg Party Snarly
2004.07.17   SCULimpics 2004 Muon
2004.07.10   Chop-In Theater (Waltor Day) Snarly
2004.07.03   Poisoning Pigeons In The Park? Snarly
2004.06.26   FireFlies Rotwang
2004.06.19   I Dunno (vomit day) vomit
2004.06.12   Studio 53 Snarly
2004.06.05   SCUL Day 2004 (Abandon All Clothes) Nameless
2003.10.04   Skunk Day 03 vomit
2003.09.27   SCULimpics 2003 pywaket
2003.09.20   Arbor Mayhem Gropo
2003.09.13   Port Foint Rotwang
2003.09.06   Breaking Headlines The Church
2003.08.09   Large Melon Rotwang
2003.08.02   Storm The Castle vomit
2003.07.26   Two Miles Per Hour vomit
2003.07.19   Inmates Run The Asylum vomit
2003.07.12   Happy Fun Times Bike Club Rotwang
2003.07.05   Waltor Day 2003 Giraffe
2003.06.28   Take The Plunge Rotwang
2003.06.21   Vomit Day 03 Rotwang
2003.06.14   Double Distress Call vomit
2003.06.07   Expect To See Dawn vomit
2003.05.24   The Best Little Warehouse In Fenway vomit
2003.05.17   Crack Day 2003 Vegetable
2003.05.10   Get Outta Town Rotwang
2003.05.03   Back In The Saddle vomit
2003.04.05   AlphaMission Rotwang
2001.09.29   Storytime Limekiller
2001.09.01   Down Mechanical Lane vomit
2001.08.25   Catostrophic Failure vomit
2001.08.11   Film Noir NoWay
2001.08.04   Pancreatic Cramitore NoWay
2001.07.14   Narrow Passage vomit
2001.07.07   WalTor Day vomit
2001.06.24   Square Ride vomit
2001.06.09   Moon Over Aborertum vomit
2001.06.02   Mmmm... Ice Cream NoWay
2001.05.12   Shake Yer Booty NoWay
2001.05.05   Suicide Mission NoWay
2001.04.21   Beep Beep Beep Whooo! Gropo
2000.10.29   Hallowheels 20 Flasher
2000.10.14   Moon Over Arboretum Flama
1999.11.02   Alpah-Hallowheels: Episode 1999 Flasher
1999.10.24   Drunken Colony Attack Flasher
1999.10.17   Drunken Colony Attack Flasher
1999.09.26   Double Derby Gropo
1999.09.25   Silver Scream Skunk
1999.09.12   Merchant Mission Skunk
1999.09.11   Quadraflat Skunk
1999.08.29   Blunt Facial Trauma Skunk
1999.08.22   AquariAss Skunk
1999.08.18   Altercation Skunk
1999.08.18   Hammertime Skunk
1999.08.08   Severed Baby Head Skunk
1999.08.01   Heavy Bumbardment Skunk
1999.07.25   Short Butt Sweet Skunk
1999.07.17   NebulaHunt 2 Skunk
1999.07.13   All Nighter Skunk
1999.06.27   Hot Chrome And Blood Skunk
1999.06.27   Merchant Marine Skunk
1999.06.20   This Sucks I Can't Believe It's Taking So Long Skunk
1999.06.13   Alpha Sculimpics: Episode 1999 Skunk
1999.06.13   Alpha Sculimpics: Episode 1999 Flasher
1999.06.06   Dueling Dogs Skunk
1999.05.30   Knee Buster Skunk
1999.05.23   Geek Corner MeatWagon
1999.05.17   Pulled Pork Nails
1999.05.15   Too Many Maggots The Chef
1999.04.25   Three On A Match Skunk
1999.04.18   Derby Fest Skunk
1999.04.11   Robyn's Egg Skunk
1999.04.04   Fluffy Easter Bunny Skunk
1998.10.31   Hallowheels The Chef
1998.08.08   Asphalt Bounce Skunk
1998.08.07   BeerBQue Skunk
1998.07.31   Diplomacy Has Its Rewards Skunk
1998.07.25   Is Larry Back There? Skunk
1998.07.18   On With The Show Skunk
1998.06.19   Performance Fart Skunk
1998.04.17   Dilly Dally Marcus
1997.12.13   Chin On The Rim Skunk
1996.05.01   The Great Donut Race of 1996 Skunk