Status: Failure


Opertation Shoulda Turned Left At Albuquerque

Mission Objectives

Visit JP System to answer distress call
consume donuts

Mission Summary

This was a particularly brutal mission. This could be summed up as:
dude! over 6 mechanicals, 3 bloody injuries, 2 nonbloody injuries. Returned at dawn feeling totally defeated.

Two maggots showed and things started out in high spirits. We headed for a distress call in the Jamaica Plain System. En route we suffered three mechanicals causing Sparky to have to abandon the fleet. The remaining pilots headed to TheCastle for festivities. We arrived in high spirits and after a half hour shore leave we decided to take a leisurely route back. This is when things started going awry. The following horrors ensued. It seems we all suffered:
The fleet headed through TheSouthwest Corridor wormhole and passed through the Christian Science Center. While crossing at a crosswalk a rather pesky motorcyclist decided to pull right up to diva's ship and rev his engine. The revving increased and he then pulled even closer to where Diva was standing in the crosswalk so that he was four inches from her toes as he continued a revv revv revving away. However, he proved no match for the 20 brave pilots. Diva was awarded a medal of valor for standing up to him. (Immediately after this Mr. Can't Wait For Pilots to Cross a Street stopped 500 feet later for a cell phone call).

The pilots continued to head to LunaKrispeeKreme where horrors and the good were mixed: Several of us seemed to not be charged any earth credits for our beverages, but according to Smasher and Gluteus Maximus the wait was long and the staff were fresh. Once we gathered provisions there, there was a donut race. Rotwang wanted to consider whether we should switch to KrispeeKreme donuts for future donut races. He assumed these could be consumed faster and tried to consume within 12 seconds. This was a fail as flakes of frosting goodness were lost to the pavement in his fruitless attempt to stuff it in his mouth as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, PigPen consumed about a half dozen in short time and did NOT throw up afterwards. Kudos to her.

Unfortunately the horrors reached a climax when a wrong turn led us into the park where, unknowingly, we headed to the Fountain of Evil. We could no longer resist the bad karma. More mechanicals ensued along with negi feelings, unpilot-like behavior and several injuries, including Rotwang's bloody arm! We feared we were doomed. We took a long rest and we headed again for the fort. The bomber StarHustler sustained heavy damage at the Fountain of Evil. It returned to the landing field riddled with flak, on the proverbial wing and a prayer. With one engine out and the rear thruster wobbly, only the strong legs and indefatigable spirit of bombardier Oppo got us back to base.

En route the final insult of the evening: towards the end of the ride, someone yelled to pigpen and vomit, "show us your tits!" so vomit said to nosepicker, "show 'em your tits nosepicker!" which, he of course gladly did.

After this long and brutal mission, the pilots made it to the fort in one piece but felt beaten and defeated. There was a long debriefing and reflection post-mission.

Pilot Ship Points Promotion
Blipblipbeep Mjollnir 428.99   Ensign
Diva Silver King 1337.9   Vice Admiral
Gluteus Maximus Circus Peanut 252.508   Petty Officer Second Class
Hoseclamp Star Hustler 1037.51   Ensign
Murray Ooh La La 180.504   Aviator First Class
Natas Spooky Pirate 579.788   Lieutenant Commander
Nosepicker G.I. Jane 217.629  
Oppo Star Hustler (Bombardier) 191.784   Lieutenant Junior Grade
pecan Swamp Thing 274.806   Lieutenant Junior Grade
Phooka Devastation 758.968   Commodore
PigPen Trez Bonz 471.473   Captain
Plankton Darkendank 279.011   Petty Officer Third Class
Rotwang Delirium 657.847   Commodore
Shakes Annihilation 852.888   Lieutenant
Skunk Catastrophe 1578.32   Admiral
Smasher Doctor Love 285.573   Petty Officer Third Class
Sparky D.B. Cooper 263.837   Lieutenant Commander
Threespeed DexionDestroyer 812.73   Commodore
vomit Jan Brady 292   Senior Chief Petty Officer
WalrusBlossom Ez Raider 202.142   Petty Officer Second Class
WalTor Singularity 727.781   Commodore
Pilots must be logged in to see the briefing.
Taskforce Pilot
Mission Leader Skunk
Deck Officer Diva
Navigator WalTor
Tailgunner PigPen
Tool Bag Hoseclamp
Life Support 1 Skunk
Mission Debriefer Diva
Mission Reporter Diva

Mission Parameters

Mission LeaderSkunk
Mission Size 21 pilots
OriginFort Summer
Destinationmake it home in one piece
Light Years19.420
G-Well Activity3.578
Technical Rating4.692