Status: Posi

USB Catastrophe

Born on Saint Valentine's Day, Y2K.

There comes a time when the needs of the life support outweighs the needs of the ship. Or something like that.

After many mission on USB Annihilation, Skunk was ready to build what he considered to be the first flagship of the SCUL fleet. The criteria was that it had an integrated sonic disruption field the likes of which had yet to be heard, to handle well, and to be an intimidating force in derby.

As an evolution to Radiobag, Skunk used car stereo with a cassette deck from the junkyard. The speaker enclosures started out in tupperware containers, but shattered not too long and were replaced with stainless steel cooking pots. The radio and the warp core to power it fit into a steel box made from two old fuseboxes. This unit can completely separate for derby, thanks to some upside down dropouts and some hooks for over the handlebars.

The fork is of a novel design Skunk calls a quarafork: it has two additional smaller blades that are welded directly to the handlebars. This makes removing the stem a little tricky but since the blades are so long, they can be bent out of the way enough to spin the stem out of the way. Catastrophe has a steel Chris King headset with one inch deep cups, which is the only thing that can survive the punishment of this massive ship.

As time progressed, so did Catastrophe's accessories and war core array: Two large halogen lights near the top, two smaller halogen lights near the bottom, a car cigarette lighter - the only way to light a sparkler while in flight as far as Skunk could tell, even a water mister for the daymissions. People nicknamed that part the 'skunk spray', and would fly behind Catastrophe to benefit from the cool mist. At it's peak Catastrophe weighed 140 pounds.

Skunk put over 14,000 light years on this ship, mostly in daily commute. Over the years many failures happened: The front axle broke twice, the front dropouts sheared off during a downhill part of a snowy commute, the head tube has sheared off, and it had electrical fires so often that Rotwang gave Skunk a tiny fire-extinguisher for his birthday.

Sometime around 2001 it won best custom at the Lars Anderson transportation museum, billed as 'the world's meanest bicycle. It once rode a multi-day tour from Boston to Bangor.

Eventually the halogens made way from LEDs, the cassettes made way for an early clunky MP3pO with an upgraded laptop hard drive and firmware boot. The Alignment got worse over time and the seventy year old hull made of primitive steel became more and more prone to misalignment. Skunk gave the ship multiple warning to try and get it to behave, but over time, the love the two of them shared began to fade away. Skunk began to build a new flagship, but that's another story.

USB Catastrophe limps on, but the legacy is only stories to all but highly seasoned pilots. The Radiobox is a mere shell, the hull is in a state of repair, and the spirit lurks in the deeper corners of the hallowed fort, waiting for a resurrection that may never come.


Light Years5958.013
Thrust Rating2.119
Handling Rating2.001
Difficulty Rating8.975
Max Warp7

Construction Data

Hull MaterialSteel
Hull TypeWestern Flyer circa 1938
Chief EngineerSkunk
Christened on2000.02.14
LocationFort Tyler
Navi RetroDrum
Primary RetroCoaster


2024.05.25   Night Tour Wombat
2024.05.11   Reverse Art Heist Wombat
2024.04.27   Lesser Known Cosima
2024.04.06   Alpha-Mission D1S29 Stogie
2023.11.11   Plymouth Pilgrimage: Century 2023 Wombat
2023.11.04   Life Day: Omegamission '23 Wombat
2023.10.28   Hallowheels '23 Wombat
2023.09.24   End of the Line: 100 Kilometers Under The Sea Wombat
2023.09.03   Dead by Dawn Rotwang
2023.08.20   Spacecamp Three-Day 'Tour' Wombat
2023.08.05   Something in the Water Cosima
2023.07.08   Ameri-can-Yeah! Wombat
2023.07.01   Myspace Your TikTok Wombat
2023.06.24   Locate the Sansa-Spacesuit People Cosima
2023.06.03   SCUL Day 27: Pamper The Parrot Wombat
2023.05.27   Good Morning, Good Morning! Wombat
2023.05.06   ChatGPT SNAFU Wombat
2023.04.29   Bathtime For Bureaucrats Wombat
2023.04.08   Follow the Sun, Into the Night Cosima
2022.11.05   Tour de Forts: Life Day '22 Cosima
2022.10.22   Putt Putt Cosima
2022.10.08   Ride, Relax, Enjoy (Skunk's Orbital Jam-bo-ree) Wombat
2022.08.06   Run Of The Mill 2 Lucky
2022.07.30   Escape To Space Fountain 2 Lucky
2022.07.16   Dip Your Toes In Wombat
2022.07.09   Slowly But Shore Leave 2 Lucky
2022.06.25   Memory Boop 2 Lucky
2022.06.11   Last Period Recess (No Diggity) 2 Lucky
2021.10.17   Long Shot Mulligan: Century 21C Wombat
2021.10.09   Skunk Day: Treat Yo'self 2 Lucky
2021.08.07   Nyte Moves Wombat
2021.07.10   Two-tee Fiver Threespeed
2021.04.10   Semi-official Beta Spectacular Threespeed
2016.11.05   Life Day 2016 Civitron
2016.10.15   Disco Funkatron Tartheis
2016.07.23   Castles In The Sand Beetle Juice
2016.07.09   Red Light Hustle Dead Bride
2016.06.18   Luna Libros IV: Satellites of Love Beetle Juice
2016.06.11   Over, Under, Around, and Through Lordmcfuzz
2016.06.04   Twentieth Anniversary Fox Beetle Juice
2016.05.21   Night Market Rendezvous *TOP SEKRET Beetle Juice
2016.05.14   Do The Worm Beetle Juice
2016.05.07   Yer Mom Is So Chopped Snow
2016.04.30   Divine Comedy Beetle Juice
2016.04.23   White Hole Beetle Juice
2015.10.17   Warm Fuzzies Wombat
2015.10.03   Skunk Day '15 Threespeed
2014.11.08   Overtime: Omegamission '14 Silfr
2014.11.01   Halloweeeels '14 Silfr
2014.10.25   Winter? SCULimpics '14 Silfr
2014.10.18   Steam Release Silfr
2014.10.12   Chonk! Silfr
2014.10.11   This Mission Brought To You By The Letter 'D' Silfr
2014.10.04   Skunk Day '14: Spring Forward, Fall Back Silfr
2014.08.02   Leave It To Chance Epoxy
2014.07.26   Scrambled Egg-stravaganza Silfr
2014.07.19   Ghost Ship Silfr
2014.05.10   Rhubarb Memorial Wombat
2014.04.26   Smooth Sailing Zappa
2013.11.02   Omegamission 2013 Baggadonuts
2013.10.26   Bike-O-Ween Threespeed
2013.10.19   Pen-Penultimate Mission Count Zero
2013.09.14   Funky Mummy Stogie
2013.09.07   Back 2 SCUL DrClaw
2013.08.31   Sea Fortress Recon DrClaw
2013.08.10   Low Places, Tight Spaces, Permagrin Faces DrClaw
2013.07.27   SCULimpics 2013 DrClaw
2013.07.13   Stifie's Chooper Gang DrClaw
2013.07.06   O Bridge, Where Art Thou? Epoxy
2013.06.22   Super Mooning: The Revenge DrClaw
2013.06.08   Sea or Sugar DrClaw
2013.05.25   Double Trouble Instigator
2013.05.18   Raise A Flag DrClaw
2013.05.04   Mayday Art Overload DrClaw
2013.04.13   Pajama Party DrClaw
2013.04.06   Alpacamission '13 Bloodbath
2012.11.03   Novemberiffic Omegamission DrClaw
2012.09.22   Where Is Wombat? DrClaw
2012.09.08   Spokesfest Civilian Escort DrClaw
2012.07.21   Orange You Glad It's Pecan Day? Self Destruct
2012.06.09   SCUL Day: Can You Dig It? Wombat
2012.06.02   Wake The Dead On Planet Jupiter DrClaw
2012.05.26   I Don't Want To Grow Up Self Destruct
2012.05.19   Disco Diva Dance Party Threespeed
2012.05.12   Word To Your Mother! BaneThunderwolf
2012.04.28   Voyage to Arkham DrClaw
2011.05.14   Cold Fusion Reactor DrClaw
2011.05.07   Donatello Anybody Van Der Goes To Make A Messina Civitron
2011.04.30   Let Them Eat Cake DrClaw
2011.04.09   Repo Men DrClaw
2010.10.23   Shiny Metals Trogdor
2010.10.16   Mega Ride DrClaw
2010.10.10   HONK! Parade 2010 Wombat
2010.10.09   Skunk Day Episode 2010 Dozer
2010.10.02   War of 100 Light Years Snarly
2009.10.10   Treasure Hunt II: Electric Boogaloo Quandary
2009.07.11   Curse of the Crone ld50
2009.06.20   Wounded Bird Dozer
2009.05.23   Beach 'n' Heat Buckminister
2009.04.25   Space, the Final Funtier Dozer
2008.11.01   Hallowheels 2008 UglySac
2008.07.19   So Hot My Mission Name Melted pywaket
2008.07.05   Waltor Day Carnival Nosepicker
2008.06.21   Submersive Choppah Underwater League pywaket
2008.06.07   SCUL Day 2008 Dr HeadCrash
2008.05.17   Bicycle Boogie Dr HeadCrash
2008.04.26   Merit Badge pywaket
2008.04.19   Don't Tell Megaseth it's MegaSeth Day pywaket
2007.10.13   This Little Piggie Cried OW!!! pywaket
2007.08.11   Who's Got Tool Bag? [Diva Day] pywaket
2007.06.23   Fresh (Pond) Air pywaket
2007.06.15   Wing It [Vomit Day 2007] Monk
2007.06.02   SCUL Day 2007 pywaket
2007.05.26   Rotwang Day pywaket
2007.05.19   Why Does It Always Radiate On My Parade? Nosepicker
2007.05.12   Bring Your Own Fun Skunk
2007.04.07   ALPHA 007 AceHole
2006.10.21   Whistle While You Twerk Nosepicker
2006.06.24   June Oh Ween Threespeed
2006.06.17   Vomit Day2006 Nosepicker
2006.06.03   SCUL Day 2006 AceHole
2006.05.27   Keep On Truckin (Rotwang Day) Threespeed
2006.05.20   Crack Day Of Awesome Nameless
2006.05.06   Alphamission 06 Rotwang
2005.10.30   Hallowheels05 Onath
2005.10.22   Penultimate Radiation Conundrum Nameless
2005.10.15   Radiation Scattering Skunk
2005.10.01   OctoberTest Onath
2005.09.24   Isla Castilia Skunk
2005.09.17   Rain Rain Go Away Onath
2005.09.10   Moose Day Celebrated Skunk
2005.09.03   Somethin or other Onath
2005.08.26   Operation Super Posi Skunk
2005.08.20   Egg Toss Skunk
2005.08.13   No NoWay Day Skunk
2005.08.06   Marsh Your Mellow Skunk
2005.07.23   Megaseth Day Skunk
2005.07.16   Post SCULimpics Skunk
2005.06.25   LowKey Skunk
2005.06.18   DiscoInferno (VomitDay 2005) Skunk
2005.06.11   Hot and Moist Skunk
2005.06.04   SCUL Day 2005 Skunk
2005.05.28   Full Metal Jackets (R0twang Day) Skunk
2005.05.21   No Plan Skunk
2005.05.14   Stoodio53 Skunk
2005.04.23   Radiation Overload Onath
2005.04.16   Mega Seth a liscous Skunk
2005.04.09   Beta Missssion 05 Skunk
2005.04.02   Aplamission 05 Skunk
2004.10.30   Hallowheels 2004 (Omegamission) Skunk
2004.10.23   Recurse The 'Verse Skunk
2004.10.16   Jump Start Skunk
2004.10.09   Skunk Day 04 Skunk
2004.09.25   Axis of Elvis Skunk
2004.09.18   Broken Pickle Nameless
2004.09.11   College Rock Skunk
2004.09.05   Southern Exposure (Century 04) Skunk
2004.08.28   Picnic Basket (Moose Day) Skunk
2004.08.21   Wet and Wild Nameless
2004.08.07   Booty Camp Skunk
2004.07.31   Tour De Nosepicker Skunk
2004.07.24   Naked Keg Party Nameless
2004.07.18   I Can't Believe It's Not Hu-man Skunk
2004.07.17   SCULimpics 2004 Skunk
2004.07.10   Chop-In Theater (Waltor Day) Skunk
2004.06.30   Voulez Vous Woohoo Skunk
2004.06.26   FireFlies Skunk
2004.06.20   LoveTrain Skunk
2004.06.12   Studio 53 Skunk
2004.06.05   SCUL Day 2004 (Abandon All Clothes) Skunk
2004.05.22   Howdy Partner (Rotwang Day) Rotwang
2004.05.15   Opertation Shoulda Turned Left At Albuquerque Skunk
2004.05.08   Derby Durby Derbie Skunk
2004.05.01   ShortAnd Sweet Skunk
2004.04.24   Oppo Oppo Skunk
2004.04.17   Stop N Chop Skunk
2004.04.10   Beta Ride Skunk
2004.04.03   Alphamission 04 Skunk
2003.11.01   Hallowheels 03 Skunk
2003.10.25   As Seen On TV Skunk
2003.10.18   Tour De Ville Skunk
2003.10.11   Pump Up The Volume Skunk
2003.10.04   Skunk Day 03 Skunk
2003.09.27   SCULimpics 2003 Skunk
2003.09.20   Arbor Mayhem Skunk
2003.09.13   Port Foint Skunk
2003.09.06   Breaking Headlines Skunk
2003.08.30   Century 03 Skunk
2003.08.23   Don't Tell Mom Nameless
2003.08.16   NoWay Day A-OK Skunk
2003.08.09   Large Melon Skunk
2003.08.06   Dash to the Cape, Dashed to the Rocks Skunk
2003.08.02   Storm The Castle Skunk
2003.07.26   Two Miles Per Hour Skunk
2003.07.18   Going Coastal Skunk
2003.07.12   Happy Fun Times Bike Club Skunk
2003.07.05   Waltor Day 2003 Skunk
2003.06.28   Take The Plunge Skunk
2003.06.21   Vomit Day 03 Skunk
2003.06.14   Double Distress Call Skunk
2003.06.07   Expect To See Dawn Skunk
2003.05.31   Double Clutchin' Diesel Drenchin' Skunk
2003.05.24   The Best Little Warehouse In Fenway Skunk
2003.05.17   Crack Day 2003 Skunk
2003.05.10   Get Outta Town Skunk
2003.05.03   Back In The Saddle Skunk
2003.04.19   MegaSeth Day Skunk
2003.04.12   SloMoBetaMission Skunk
2003.04.05   AlphaMission Skunk
2002.11.02   Hallowheels Skunk
2002.10.26   Last Dance Skunk
2002.10.12   Radiation Control Skunk
2002.10.05   Skunk Day Observed Skunk
2002.09.28   SCULimpics 2002 Skunk
2002.09.21   Massive Entropy Denial Skunk
2002.09.14   Stickem Up Skunk
2002.09.07   Hangin Tough Skunk
2002.08.31   Century Meets U-hell Skunk
2002.08.17   NoWay Day 2002 Skunk
2002.08.10   Castle Island Skunk
2002.08.04   Intergalaxative Rode Onland Return Skunk
2002.08.02   Intergalaxative Rode Onland Skunk
2002.07.27   Three Hour Tour Skunk
2002.07.20   Wharf Rat Skunk
2002.07.13   The Quickenin' Skunk
2002.07.06   Submersion Skunk
2002.06.29   Field Trip Skunk
2002.06.22   Super Lame-o Bailout Skunk
2002.06.15   Vomit Day Skunk
2002.06.08   ShouldaBeenThere Skunk
2002.06.01   SCUL Day 2002 Skunk
2002.05.25   No Mo Negi Jiggi Mojo Skunk
2002.05.18   Crack Day Skunk
2002.05.11   Shakes Rattle & Roll Skunk
2002.05.04   RoughService Skunk
2002.04.27   Derby World Skunk
2002.04.20   Fresh Pond Chat Skunk
2002.04.13   5000 Mile Mark Skunk
2002.04.06   Alphamission 02 Skunk
2001.10.27   Hallowheels 01 Skunk
2001.10.20   Triple Derby Skunk
2001.10.13   Skunk Day Observed Skunk
2001.10.06   El Cien Loco Skunk
2001.09.29   Storytime Skunk
2001.09.22   Dirty Dozen Skunk
2001.08.25   Catostrophic Failure Skunk
2001.08.19   Mission To Larz Skunk
2001.08.18   SCULimpics 2001 Games Skunk
2001.08.11   Film Noir Skunk
2001.08.04   Pancreatic Cramitore Skunk
2001.07.28   Jamaica Pain Skunk
2001.07.21   FlamingGlobe Skunk
2001.07.14   Narrow Passage Skunk
2001.07.07   WalTor Day Skunk
2001.07.01   Super Heavy Radiation Skunk
2001.06.24   Square Ride Skunk
2001.06.16   Party At Franks Skunk
2001.06.09   Moon Over Aborertum Skunk
2001.06.02   Mmmm... Ice Cream Skunk
2001.05.26   The Naughty MIT Policeman Taught Us A New Word Skunk
2001.05.12   Shake Yer Booty Skunk
2001.05.05   Suicide Mission Skunk
2001.04.28   Get Lost Skunk
2001.04.21   Beep Beep Beep Whooo! Skunk
2001.04.14   Constant Groovin' Skunk
2001.04.07   Aplhamission 21 Skunk
2001.01.01   Bunker Chill Skunk
2000.10.29   Hallowheels 20 Skunk
2000.10.21   Life Day 20 Skunk
2000.10.16   Car Free Day Skunk
2000.10.14   Moon Over Arboretum Skunk
2000.10.09   SCULimpics Night Games 20 Skunk
2000.10.07   SCULimpics Day Games 2000 Skunk
2000.10.02   Warp Factor What?! Skunk
2000.10.01   Close-Up And Personal Skunk
2000.09.24   Where The Wind Blows Skunk
2000.09.09   Heavy Spacewalking Populations Skunk
2000.09.09   Cutthroat Skunk
2000.09.06   Logan Express Skunk
2000.09.03   Heavy Spacewalking Populations Skunk
2000.09.02   Constellation Hop Skunk
2000.08.19   Two Hundred Scale Miles Per Hour Skunk
2000.08.13   Good Buy Money NoWay
2000.08.12   It Was Working When We Left Skunk
2000.08.06   Mindy Milky Skunk
2000.07.22   Seige This Skunk
2000.07.20   Art Beating Skunk
2000.07.15   Slummerville Skunk
2000.07.04   Tighty Whitey Skunk
2000.06.30   Pain 7 Twisted Mike
2000.06.24   Pain Skunk
2000.06.10   DBD BBQ Skunk
2000.06.04   Siege The Castle Skunk
2000.05.20   19 Pilots Skunk
2000.05.06   Nowhere Fast Skunk
2000.05.06   Wake Up The Dead Skunk
2000.04.24   Diplosplat Skunk
2000.04.23   Wet and Dense Skunk
2000.04.16   Fudley Dudley Skunk
2000.04.09   Proving Ground Skunk
2000.04.01   April Fools Skunk